


The Price of Growing Up

by FFcrazy15



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Buddhism, Bullying, F/M, Fantastic Racism, Father-Son Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Shinto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27870226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FFcrazy15/pseuds/FFcrazy15
Summary: "How do you tell a kid he's gonna die?" When Shippo's bravery has unforeseen consequences, the kit must grow up sooner than expected—literally. Four oneshots about everyone's favorite fox, facing all the challenges of growing up: mortality, responsibility, prejudice, and finding true love. (Crosspost from FF.net; not canon with Yashahime)Pt. 1: When Shippo's bravery has unforeseen consequences, the kit must grow up sooner than expected—literally.Pt. 2: When Shippo accidentally transforms, it's up to Inuyasha to help him face the scariest demons of all: the ones inside himself.Pt. 3: Being different isn't easy. At the Academy, Shippou receives some encouragement from a surprising source.Pt. 4: When a slaying job goes awry, both Inuyasha and Shippou must reevaluate their worldviews.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, Miroku/Sango (InuYasha), Rin/Shippou (InuYasha)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. The Price of Growing Up

_Summary: "How do you tell a kid he's gonna die?"_ _When Shippo's bravery has unforseen consequences, the kitsune is forced to grow up more quickly than he expected– literally. (Same universe as "My Brother's Keeper," but set about seven years earlier. Rated for angst, blood, and Inuyasha's mouth.)_

Note: after having thought and thought about the issue of aging in this series, I've come to the conclusion that, regardless of what Takahashi-sama has said, half-demons do not and could not age at the same rate as an ordinary demon (roughly 1 year of maturity for 10 years of time). By that rate, Lady Izayoi would have to be at least sixty years old in any of the flashbacks to Inuyasha's childhood (the youngest he could possibly be in these is 40 years old by this standard), which is unlikely. More to the point, if Inuyasha were roughly 150 years old when he got pinned to the tree, and Sesshomaru no older than 200, that would mean that Inuyasha was born when Sesshomaru physically appeared to be five years old, which the third movie definitely negates. Jinenji's mother, as well, would have to be at least 200 years old as a human (given that he looks at least eighteen). The ages work out perfectly, however, if we assume hanyous ages like an ordinary humans, and it gets rid of any angsty "what-will-he-do-when-Kagome-dies?" problems. So yeah, I think that having him actually be fifteen works a lot better than having him be 150, and it makes this fic possible.

Disclaimer: I neither own the intellectual property of the InuYasha universe, nor the rights to any of the affiliated merchandise or creative works thereof, nor do I profit from this work produced here.

**Warnings: Shippo getting kidnapped and hurt by a pretty evil Big Bad, some cursing. Pairings: Inu/Kag, San/Mir, the very beginnings of Rin/Shippo.**

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

"Has his fever gone down?"

"No… but at least it's not as high as before."

Sango knelt down beside Kagome, the infant child carried in the sling on her back fussing a little as he was jostled. Despite the noise, the fox-kit didn't awaken, merely tossed and shivered as before. The taijiya looked over to her friend to find that the priestess's deep brown eyes, usually so full of light and good cheer, were now dead serious, and very worried. "Kagome…"

"I just don't know what else to do, Sango. Whatever this is, it's not an ordinary poison." She reached into a nearby bowl and wrung out a cold compress that was waiting there, laying it over the kitsune's forehead. Shippo let out a tiny whimper that broke Sango's mothering heart in two, but thankfully his shivers lessened. "He must have been so brave," Kagome whispered, almost to herself. "To get out of such a horrible situation on his own…"

"And to make it all the way here. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for him, flying all that way without falling unconscious."

Kagome didn't reply, merely closed her eyes and held out her hands over the child. A pure white glow accumulated beneath them, and then descended on the demon; rather than harming him, it seemed to be sucked through his kimono– not his usual turquoise one, but a simple brown kosode, borrowed from a village child– and into his shoulder. At this the shivers and tossing quieted, and the boy fell into a deep slumber.

Sango swallowed, thinking to the little one on her own back and how terrified Shippo's mother would have been, had she lived to see this day. At last, she managed to gather the courage to ask the question she dreaded to have answered:

"…Will he be alright, Kagome?"

The miko tucked the boy's thin blanket up next to his chin and then stood, picking up the bucket she used to draw well-water for tea. "He'll live," she said, voice wooden, and then left.

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

_The frightened sniffles echoed off the cave walls, emanating from a cage in the far back, not that it could been seen in the pitch-darkness. The small creature from whom they came had buried his head in his knees, curled up in an effort both to preserve warmth and to stifle the sounds of his tears._

_Shippo had seen a lot of terrifying things in his day, things that no child should ever have to see. He'd seen his best friends nearly die more times than he could count. He'd seen the infliction of grievous wounds and fields full of dismembered corpses. He'd seen his own father's body worn as an obi and had helped dig the grave in which to place the remains himself. But somehow, as horrible as all that had been, he had accepted it in the way of a child, as if such things were ordinary facts of life. He'd been afraid before, certainly– but never as afraid as he was now._

_Part of that, he thought, was probably because of the pain; his shoulder hurt awful bad, bad enough that if he even tried to move it he'd get a feeling like a white-hot bolt of lightning up his whole arm and down his spine. Shippo shivered and winced at the ache. He didn't like thinking of lightning ordinarily, and here it seemed so much worse. He'd missed his parents a lot over the years, but now, terrified and alone, it felt like he'd just lost them all over again. "Mama... Father…" He wrapped his arms around his knees and began to sob in earnest._

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

Rin let out a little sigh of distress as she watched her friend shuffle around in his sleep, whimpering. Poor Shippo-chan. She'd been the first person to find him when he'd first floated back into the village, the fact that his giant pink bubble had turned a horrible shade of pale violet her first warning that everything was not alright.

Her second warning had been when he'd passed out right in front of her, popping out of midair and plummeting towrds the ground, unconscious. If she hadn't caught him, Kagome-sama had praised her, he probably would have broken something. Rin-chan wasn't altogether convinced that she'd been of much help in that regard; the amount of blood that her unconscious best friend had left on her kimono made her feel that a broken arm would have been the least of Shippo's worries right now. Her brows furrowed together, Rin gently patted her friend's forehead with a cold cloth and began to pray fervently for him. At her invocation, a tiny white sphere of light formed and settled into his shoulder; Shippo mumbled something and turned towards her, appearing to relax a bit, but Rin still felt she hadn't done enough.

"Hey." She glanced over her shoulder and quickly bowed.

"Kagome-sama!"

"It's just Kagome, Rin." The older girl smiled gently and kneeled down beside the unconscious boy. "I saw what you did. That's some very impressive spiritual power."

"But it didn't help!" She gazed, teary-eyed, upon her friend. "I just want to make him feel better, Kagome-sama!"

"I think it did help. Look, Rin. See his face?" Rin tilted her head, studying the kitsune's expression, and Kagome added, "He doesn't seem to be in as much pain now. You've helped him a lot, Rin."

"Y-you think so?"

"Mm-hm." Kagome ran her hands through the girl's hair comfortingly and suggested, "Why don't you go play outside for a little bit? I'm sure you can use a break."

Rin shook her head. "I want to stay with him," she vowed. "Until he opens his eyes, Kagome-sama, if I can!"

Her expression was so determined that Kagome couldn't help but smile, recalling similar sentiments she'd expressed in her own longing and loyalty. "Then you can stay. But don't feel like you have to, alright?"

Rin nodded, but it seemed distracted. She took the boy's cold little hand in her own, as if to warm it, and watched him with such worry and concern in her eyes that Kagome felt sure that, somewhere deep inside, Shippo knew he wasn't alone.

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

"Fell asleep, poor child?"

Kagome nodded sympathetically, tucking the blanket up around Rin's shoulders. The young miko-in-training had refused to leave the kitsune's side and had, eventually, drifted off even while sitting next to him in her persistent vigil. It didn't feel right to separate them, so Kagome had fetched the girl's futon from Lady Kaede's house and spread it out for Rin next to Shippo's. "How is he, Lady Kaede?"

"Hmm. Better. The poison seems to be working its way out of his system, but how long it will take for the boy to awaken I cannot say."

Kagome nodded, and then bit her lip. Kaede noticed and glanced over.

"Speak, girl. What troubles you?"

The younger miko drew a deep breath. "Kaede-sama… these last three days, I've sensed Shippo's youki growing weaker and weaker… his active aura remains the same, but beneath that… I don't know, it just seems like there's less to feed into it. What– what do you think will happen? When he wakes up?"

Kaede was silent for a long while, studying the kitsune's unconscious form and, Kagome presumed, sensing his aura for herself. When she looked up, her face was very grave.

"Kagome-sama… I believe it may be best if you fetch the others. This is a discussion I would prefer to only have once."

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

"You're kidding."

Inuyasha had been the first to break the silence; the others were all simply in too much shock. Lady Kaede sighed. "I am afraid, Inuyasha, that I am not 'kidding.' This seems to me the most plausible explanation."

"But that's not possible," he argued. "Demons live longer than humans, that's just a fact! Shippo's got at least another six hundred years left to him!"

"Sango-sama, I believe that this is your area of expertise," Kaede said sadly. "If you might explain…?"

"She's right, Inuyasha," Sango said softly. "It's long been known among demon-slayers that youkai produce their power through a certain part of the brain which humans simply lack; it's what powers their magic… and their longevity. Shippo's a kitsune, they're known for their magic; if somehow that part of him was damaged, any power he could produce would be channeled into maintaining his aura instead of his lifespan."

"Fine! Then when he wakes up we'll tell him to turn his aura _off_ and focus on not _dying!"_

"That's not how it works, Inuyasha."

The hanyou slammed his fist into the floor, startling everyone. "Inuyasha!" Kagome said angrily, but he didn't seem to notice her.

"Dammit," he seethed. "Dammit all, Shippo!" Without warning, he stood and stalked out of the hut.

"He took that rather hard," Miroku said, a little stunned.

Kagome stood and hurried out after him without glancing back to the others. Inuyasha was nowhere to be seen in the immediate vicinity, but when she heard the unmistakable rumble of earth and tree being rent, she turned and headed for the forest.

_"WINDSCAR!"_

Kagome drew to a halt and watched sadly as the wave of glowing demolishment rolled through, felling several trees, though it was nowhere near as powerful as usual. Inuyasha bellowed again and swung the sword as if cutting down a foe, only furthering the gorge of destruction in front of him. Again and again he let loose his fury on the innocent earth until the blast themselves dissipated on the chasm wall; when he saw that his attacks were having no further attack, his energy seemed to leave him and the sword hung uselessly in his right hand, leaving its owner huffing for air.

When those huffs turned into gasps and he buried his face in his left hand, Kagome walked forward silently and set a hand on his shoulder. Inuyasha tried to dry his eyes, but to little avail. "Dammit," he mumbled thickly. "It's just not fair, Kagome. It's not _fucking_ fair." He turned to her, fury and sorrow clashing in his face. "The poor kid's lost so much already. How, _how_ does he deserve this?"

Kagome didn't answer, only looked up at him with tearful eyes of her own.

"Damn stupid runt. What did he think he was doing, getting himself into something like this?" He dragged his wrist across his eyes and shook his head. "Always running into a fight he can't take on, the idiot…"

"Sounds like someone I know," she replied with an attempt at a tearful half-smile. It didn't really work, and with a sigh the half-demon pulled his beloved into his arms.

"What are we gonna do, Kagome?" he mumbled into her hair. "How do you tell a kid he's gonna die?"

She shook her head. "I don't know," she whispered, blinking; the tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I don't know.

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

_Shippo's sobs halted as a sudden grinding sound drew his attention, and he shrank back as the rock covering the entrance to the cave rolled open. "You insufferable brat!" a harsh, sneering voice hissed; Shippo trembled as a much older kitsune stalked into the cave. "Do I have to stuff your mouth to keep you quiet?"_

_Terrified as he was, the kit managed to summon his courage. "P-Please, let me go. It worked, didn't it? You don't need me anymore…"_

_The other fox-demon wheezed a laugh. "You think all I wanted to see was if it worked? I already knew it worked, you foolish boy. No, I want to see how long it takes to kill you." He grinned, showing rows of pointed teeth, as he leaned down over the cage. "And maybe when I'm done, I'll eat the meat off your bones."_

_"Y-you wouldn't…"_

_The older demon shrugged. "Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't. Either way, you won't be around to find out." He smiled that wide, sly smile of his, and then left the cave again, rolling the stone over the entrance. Shippo relaxed an inch, but only an inch– and quickly that vanished too when the motion sent bolts of pain up his shoulder. He curled up again into a ball, sniffling and wishing he weren't so scared and alone…_

_And then, quite without him realizing it, the sniffles stopped, and a strange thing happened to Shippo: he realized he wanted to live. Nobody was coming to get him; nobody even knew he was here. If he didn't want to die, then it was up to him to get himself out of here._

_"Okay, Shippo," he muttered to himself, "think. What would Inuyasha do right now?" Well for one, Inuyasha wouldn't be crying; no, he'd be trying to get out of this cage so he could cut something in half with his sword– probably the demon. So, first step was getting out of this cage._ _He tried to sit up straight only to feel his sliced-up shoulder cry out in protest; gritting his teeth, he shrugged off his fur vest and tore off a strip of the thinnest section, looping it around his shoulder with his good hand and tucking the ends under in what, he hoped, was a tight enough bandage to stop some of the bleeding. Then, taking a deep breath, he stood up, ignored the pain in his arm, and summoned all the youki he had left. He could almost feel himself growing weaker as he did so, but he told himself he'd worry about that later. Focusing as hard as he could, he scrunched up his nose and glared at where he hoped his hand was._

_Out of the darkness a blue ball of fire flared to life. By its light he examined the cage, and was delighted to find that the door's whole front hinged outward; so far, he'd not been fed in the last two days he'd been here, so there'd been no reason for the older demon to open it, but Shippo was willing to bet that if he thought his captive had escaped, he'd probably make an exception. Shippo never been able to sustain an invisibility spell that long before, and he knew he'd only get one shot, but that, he told himself, was all he needed._

_"I'm going to get myself out of here," he vowed, his determined glare illuminated by the blaze of blue fire in his hands. "I'm going to save myself. This time, nobody gets to rescue me!"_

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

"Rin, you're exhausting yourself."

The girl paid no attention to the priestess, merely closed her eyes and held her hands over the kitsune. A white pinpoint of light appeared– smaller than her earlier attempts, but much stronger– and then settled into the boy's shoulder. Shippo relaxed a little, but Rin still didn't look satisfied. Kagome sighed. "Rin…"

"I won't leave him, Kagome-sama." Rin's dark eyes were fixed on the boy, unmoving, and her small pale face was deadly serious. "I won't."

Kagome bit her lip, and then sighed. "Alright. You can watch him a little while longer, but I don't want you using any more of your spiritual power. I won't have you passing out too, understood?"

Rin spared her a moment's glance to nod, and then returned to watching the kitsune. Kagome restrained the urge to scold her more and said, "I'm going to go fetch some more water. Send for me if his condition changes, alright?"

"Yes, Kagome-sama."

The priestess ruffled the girl's dark hair fondly and then left, carrying the bucket with her. Rin watched the boy under the blanket, now lying much more quietly and peacefully, and bit her lip hard, feeling tears burn in her eyes. "Please," she pleaded with him. "Please, Shippo-chan, you have to wake up." She sniffled and blinked, wiping her eyes as the tears escaped. It didn't help, as new ones welled up in their place. "Y-you're my best friend. If you don't wake up, who'll color with me? Who'll play tag with me or show me how to use your toy tops?"

The boy didn't reply, and a small sob escaped her mouth, the tears rolling down her cheeks. "You have to wake up, Shippo-chan! You just have to!" She leaned down and kissed his forehead, the way her Mama had for her whenever she was sick, all those years ago.

And perhaps it had worked, because as she pulled away, she saw his face twitch, reddish brows furrowing slightly. Rin held her breath in hope. Slowly, ever so slowly, his green eyes fluttered open.

"…R…Rin…?"

The girl gasped, pinking a bit at the cheeks but more than anything overjoyed. "Shippo-chan!" She scooped him up into her arms, embracing him fiercely– at least, until the kitsune let out a little yelp, and she blanched, setting him back down. "Oh no! Your shoulder! I'm so sorry!"

"I-It's okay…" He grimaced a bit, putting a hand to his shoulder and finding it neatly bandaged under a borrowed kimono. "Kaede-sama's hut… how did I get here?"

"You don't remember?" He shook his head. "You passed out once you got back to the village. We were all so worried!" As if suddenly remembering something, she leapt to her feet. "Oh! I have to go tell the others!"

Shippo watched in surprise as the girl dashed out of the house. _We were all so worried…_ He felt pretty guilty at that; he hadn't meant to cause so much trouble. Within a few seconds, the mat-curtain was flung aside and a number of people came rushing through the door: first Kagome, looking rather breathless; then Miroku and Sango, her little one on her back; then Inuyahsa, with an expression Shippo couldn't identify; then, last of all, old Kaede-sama, hobbling in with her usual serious expression. "Shippo!" Kagome exclaimed, kneeling down beside him and hugging him gently. "Thank goodness!"

"Kagome!" Suddenly all the kitsune could feel was relief; he hugged her as tightly as he could with his injuries. When the priestess let him go, he looked around at his other friends, smiling, only to find them watching him with very uncertain expressions: a strange combination of relief and nervousness. "Hey, what's with all the long faces?" he asked, frowning a little.

"We were worried about you, kid!" Inuyasha retorted, the odd emotion on his face conveyed as well in his voice: forceful, relieved, and somehow also saddened. "You've been out for three days; scared the living daylights outta us!"

"Three days…?" Shippo felt a little unnerved at that; he'd never been unconscious for that long before. Still, he shook it off in the undaunted optimism of youth and said with pride, "Well, I'm fine now! And you shoulda seen that miserable old fox when I ran off!"

"Miserable old fox?" Kagome quoted, frowning. "Shippo, what happened to you?"

Suddenly realizing just how foolish he'd been, the little kitsune flushed and ducked his head. "Well… it was my fault, really. I was being stupid. But no one else would do anything, not even Headmaster Shizuei!"

"Do anything about what, Shippo?" Sango pressed.

Shippo scowled deeply, startling them all; such anger was an expression they rarely saw on the ordinarily cheerful child. "We heard word at the academy about a fox-demon named Hinuki who was going around killing people," he growled. "Real nasty guy; he developed this poison that could steal your youki and then kill you!"

"Steal your youki?" Inuyasha repeated.

"Yeah. Talk about a dirty way to win a fight!" He crossed his arms, huffing. "I thought for sure Headmaster Shizuei would go out and stop him; he's the strongest fox-demon there is! But– well, he didn't. I don't know why." He paused, and then muttered, "Maybe he was too scared to."

Kagome and Inuyasha shared a look; they knew Shippo greatly admired the headmaster of the Kitsune Academy. The boy had probably been crushed that his hero was too afraid to go after the fiend. Then Inuyasha seemed to realize something, and he suddenly flared with anger. "Wait, are you telling me you went after this guy?!" Shippo shuffled his feet and didn't answer. "Shippo, you idiot! What the hell were you thinking?!"

To his surprise, the kitsune rounded on him fiercely. "He dishonored the name of fox-demons everywhere! Somebody had to do something!"

"Not a little kid like you!"

"When adults don't fix the problems, then kids have to!" He scrambled to his feet, full of an indignant fury that the others had never seen in the boy before. "He was killing people! Wiping out whole villages of demons, all for his dirty experiments! If I'd sat there and let it happen, I'd be a coward!"

"Shippo," Kagome said, stunned, but the kitsune wasn't done.

"Well, I'm not a coward! Not when I can stop some kid from losing their mama and papa like I did!" He shoved a finger in Inuyasha's direction and declared, "You'd do the same thing if an inuyoukai were dishonoring your clan and you know it! And I beat him, so don't look at me like I'm some stupid little kid!"

"You… beat him?" Miroku interjected before Inuyasha could reply. "You mean you killed this Hinuki?"

"No," Shippo said, looking a little disappointed with himself, before rallying again, "But I _did_ destroy all his poison _and_ the recipe he used to make it!"

"But– how?"

At this, the kit hesitated, sitting back down. "I… well, I did get caught," he admitted. "I tried to fight him but… he was too fast." He winced in memory, rubbing his injured shoulder. "He got me with his poison claws and then shoved me in a cage. Said he wanted to see how long it'd take me to die." Shippo fell quiet for a moment, remembering something they couldn't see, and then seemed to shake himself out of it and looked up, green eyes blazing. "But I was too clever for him! I made myself invisible so that he'd open the cage to investigate, and then snuck out and set all his stuff on fire! Then I ran for it."

"But you were already badly poisoned by that time," Miroku pressed. "How did you manage to get all the way here?"

"I knew if I could just get home that Kagome would be able to fix me. And she did!" The kitsune turned to the priestess with a broad grin. "I knew you could, Kagome! You healed me up and now I'm all better!"

To his surprise, the miko didn't reply, only stared at him with stunned eyes. Shippo realized that they were quickly filling with tears. "Hey, what's wrong?" he demanded, jumping over to her. "Kagome, don't cry! I'm okay now!"

This was apparently the wrong thing to say, for Kagome covered her mouth, choking back a sob. "Oh, Shippo… I'm so sorry, we did the best we could, but…"

She didn't finish. Shippo was baffled. "Kagome?"

"Shippo, you're… you're not 'okay,'" Sango said softly, drawing his attention. "When… when Hinuki poisoned you, he made your youki very weak."

"Yeah, but I've got it all back now." He snapped his fingers, lighting up a little ball of blue flame. "See? Foxfire and everything."

"No, Shippo," the tijiya replied gently, taking his hands in hers; Shippo looked up at her, confused. "You… you were very baldy injured, and… Shippo, you're not as powerful as before. You can't produce as much youki as before."

"But that doesn't make sense; I can still do all my magic…" He trailed off, having noticed, for the first time, that he felt… different. He wasn't exactly sure how, just different. Weaker, almost, but not in his magic, like he did after a long examination. This was a different kind of weakness, something deep in his bones, and its strangeness frightened him. What had happened to him? What were they trying to say?

"You're mortal, kid."

He looked over, stunned, to see Inuyasha watching him, tight-mouthed. He was about to laugh at the ridiculousness of the statement, when the giggles died in his mouth, for Inuyasha's eyes were wet. Inuyasha hardly ever cried, and only for really serious reasons. Shippo looked around at them, and realized with shock that Inuyasha and Kagome weren't the only ones. Everyone– Miroku, Sango, even old-Kaede sama had tears in their eyes. _They're all crying. Crying for me…_

The five adults watched as the kitsune withdrew from Sango's grasp and looked at his hands, studying them as if he expected them to change before his very eyes. What thoughts were going through his mind, none of them could guess, but what stunned them all was when he looked up at them and said, very quietly, "I think I want to be alone for a while."

They'd been expecting tears, or maybe even a tantrum– anything suited to a frightened little boy his age. Somehow, the fact that the child had exhibited such an adult reaction made the situation all the worse. Without another word, Shippo walked over to the door, pushed aside the mat and slipped out into the warm summer evening.

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

The sun was setting, and Shippo had yet to return home.

"Do you think he's okay?" Kagome asked for what must have been the hundredth time, and the hanyou, who'd been waiting for nearly an hour outside the hut she and Shippo shared with Lady Kaede, replied by shaking his head.

"Of course he's not okay. How could he be?" He glanced back over his shoulder and said honestly, "Kagome, the kid just found out he's gonna die, a helluva lot sooner than he was expecting. How would you take it if someone told you y'only had a couple of years to live?"

Kagome nodded sadly, standing beside him and peering out into the red-bathed countryside. Shippo was nowhere to be seen. "You'll bring him back, won't you? I don't want him sleeping outside all night…"

Inuyasha hesitated, an then nodded. "I'll go get him." He pecked his worried beloved on the cheek and added, "Don't worry. I'll make sure he's safe." She nodded, squeezing his hand in gratitude.

It didn't take much for him to locate the kit; the wind was in the right direction, so he simply followed his nose until he found the boy sitting, perfectly balanced, on one of the topmost limbs of the tallest trees in the area, spinning his toy top with expert accuracy on the rather thin branch. Inuyasha debated for a moment whether or not to give the boy his peace, but when Shippo said quietly, "Hi, Inuyasha," he decided it was safe to jump up.

He sat down beside the kit, nearer to the trunk so as not to break the limb, and for a while didn't say anything, merely watched the young demon until Shippo got tired of playing with the top and gathered it up into his hands in favor of watching the sun go down.

At long last, it was the kitsune who broke the silence. "How old are you, Inuyasha?"

"Hn? Oh, uh– eighteen, I guess, give or take fifty years." He was hoping the joke would get Shippo crack a smile, but to no avail.

"I'm eighty-four. Father was three hundred and two, when he died." He paused, and then added quietly, "That didn't seem like a big deal, until now."

"Kid…"

"What's it like?" He glanced back at the hanyou. "Living so quickly, I mean."

Inuyasha shrugged. "Dunno. It's the only life I've ever known." Shippo looked away, so he added, "But it doesn't seem all that bad, at least not to me."

"Right." The word came out very soft, and no more followed. The kitsune's eyes were fixed on the distantly setting sun, but it was only when a cold wind blew past and the boy sniffled that Inuyasha realized he could smell saltwater.

Without asking, knowing that the proud child would refuse, he reached forward, scooped the boy up into his arms and held him tight. Shippo's breath hitched once, and then again, followed by a sort of whimper. That was the last sound Inuyasha heard, but the kit began to shudder and he knew that the boy was doing his best to suppress his tears. "I'm– n-not– crying–" Shippo hiccupped.

"'Course not," Inuyasha replied gruffly, leaving the boy his dignity. He swallowed the lump in his own throat, blinking hard. The violent quaking grew stronger and stronger until at last the sobs broke through, and the child wept openly into his haori. The half-demon gripped him tightly and stroked his hair, just like a father should, until at last the heartbroken sobs quieted down to nothing, and the hanyou realized that the boy had cried himself to sleep.

Gently, careful not to wake him, Inuyasha leapt down from the branch and carried the kitsune the whole long walk home. Shippo didn't move, aside from to burrow himself deeper into the warmth of the fire-rat robe, yet when the hanyou handed him off to Kagome, he could have sworn he heard Shippo mumble softly, _"Thank you, Inuyasha,"_ before drifting off again.

The half-demon smiled ruefully. The morning would come, and with it there would be a lot of difficult conversations and realities for Shippo to accept. But right now, at least for the moment, the boy could find peace in sleep. After all, he thought as he left, children deserve at least that much.


	2. Kaensaiga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: "When Shippo accidentally transforms, it's up to Inuyasha to help him face the scariest demons of all: the ones inside himself."

**Warnings: blood, cursing, a little joke about gingers. ;)**

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

"Shippo! Shippo, dammit, come back here!"

The boy glanced over his shoulder, panting. The trees around him were a blur of shadow and green, branches whisking around him as he dodged with ease. He knew he wasn't as fast as Inuyasha, but he could hide if he got far enough away; if he could just outrun him for a little longer–

"WAH!"

He hit the ground before he even knew he'd tripped, momentum carrying him forward in a cloud of dust. Shippo rolled over on his back, panicking, and momentarily saw a red flash streak down above him, before Inuyasha landed just overtop of him, holding him down.

"Let me go, Inuyasha! I'll fight you! I'll– I'll–"

"Dammit, kid, calm down!" Two hands lifted him up by his vest and smacked him back down into the ground again– not enough to hurt him, but enough to startle him out of his rambling. Shippo stared up at the golden eyes above him and found that Inuyasha looked… relieved.

_Not angry. He's… not angry with me?_

"You alright now?" the hanyou asked. "Or are you gonna run again?"

Shippo hesitated, and then gave a little shake of his head.

"Good." The white-haired man released him, and Shippo sat up. He hissed when his paw moved and looked down to find that he'd twisted it when he'd tripped on the root.

Inuyasha had noticed, too. "Damn. That's not good."

"It's fine," the kitsune mumbled, gently touching his fingers to the twisted joint with a wince. A pale turquoise light glowed brightly around his fingers, and when he pulled away his paw was back to normal, although he felt a little dizzy from the amount of power it had cost him.

The hanyou had the decency to look mildly impressed. "Your fox-magic is getting better." Shippo nodded, not meeting his eyes.

For a long moment, the two sat in silence. The kitsune could feel his cheeks and eyes burning; he was keenly aware of how much blood was on his kosode and vest, even on his hakama… he wanted to go crawl in a hole and die.

At last he heard Inuyasha draw a breath. "Shippo–"

"I'm not going back," the kitsune interrupted "I'm _not,_ Inuyasha. I can't, don't you see?"

"Shippo, that's not–"

"Did they see me?" he demanded. "Did _Kagome_ see me? Like- like that?"

Inuyasha hesitated. _I can't tell him. It'll break his heart._

"And don't lie to me." Shippo at last managed a brief glimpse at the half-demon out of the corner of his eyes. "I'll know."

 _Poor kid._ Inuyasha sighed. "Yeah, Shippo. We all did."

Shippo nodded again, still staring off at nothing. He swallowed, and then blinked hard and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. He was getting so big, Inuyasha noticed; he'd grown taller, and his paws and hands were proportional to the rest of him now. He looked like any other ten-year-old boy, aside from the fox-paws and tail– and his elfin ears, of course. "I can't go back," the kit whispered. "They'll hate me. And Kagome will hate me most of all!" He buried his face in his arms and at last started to cry.

"That's not true," Inuyasha vowed, setting a hand on his shoulder, but Shippo shrugged it off. "Hell, Shippo, Kagome's seen me kill other humans and she's still here, ain't she? Besides, you took out a threat, not an innocent!"

"So what!" the kit snarled, whipping his head around to glare at him. Tears ran down his cheeks. "Maybe it was a threat this time, but next time–!" He choked, the idea too terrible to even think about, and covered his face again. "B'sides, it's different," he mumbled, words half-muffled by the bloodied sleeves of his turquoise kosode. "You're just a half-demon."

"And what's that got to do with it?"

"Everything!" He scrambled to his feet, glaring fiercely down at the half-demon beside him. "Everyone knows half-demons can't control themselves; it's not your fault! But demons– only evil demons lose control of their _youki!"_ He clenched his fist, looking as if he were gritting his teeth in an effort to stop his tears. "Th-that's what P-Papa told me. Th-that's what makes us d-different– _made_ me different!"

"Shippo–"

"A-and it's better if I l-leave now, or n-next time– next time, it m-might be one of you!"

"I'm not gonna let that happen," the hanyou growled, but Shippo shook his head.

"You c-can't control me forever, Inuyasha. I'm getting s-s-stronger every day, and you know it! And I c-can't control it! I've tried, I've tried but I _can't!"_ He blinked hard and wiped away the tears rolling down his cheeks. "That's why I have to leave! If I'm gonna turn b-b- _bad,_ I don't wanna be around anyone I care about!"

He broke down again, and only fought a little when Inuyasha stood and hugged him tightly. "It's okay," the half-demon muttered gruffly. "It's alright."

"I'm s-sorry. Tell them I'm sorry!"

"You've got nothin' to apologize for. It wasn't your fault. In fact, if it's anyone's, it's mine."

Shippo sniffled and drew back a little. "W-what?"

"I should've realized this was gonna happen. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in me an' Kagome getting' married, I would've realized…" The hanyou sighed and guided the boy over to a fallen log. "Sit," he ordered, pointing at it.

Shippo sat.

"Now the first thing you gotta realize," Inuyasha said firmly, sitting down beside him, "Is that this wasn't your fault."

"B-but–"

"You can't be expected to control your _youki_ the way other demons can. You said 'everyone knows half-demons can't control themselves,' you know why that is?" Shippo sniffled again and shook his head. "It's because we're sorta like you; lotsa power, no idea how to handle it."

"I-I don't understand…"

"Most demons gain their power as they grow over hundreds of years," Inuyasha explained. "They learn to control it without even realizing they're doing it. You and me, we're at a disadvantage." He looked down to his clawed hands thoughtfully and continued, "We only get a couple of years to learn how to get used to this. That's why half-demons tend to 'snap,' y'know? Only most of 'em aren't as strong as I am, so they don't do as much damage." He looked over at the kit. "You're no different, Shippo, 'cept you're a full-blooded demon. That makes it even harder on you. But it ain't your fault, alright? The demons your dad was talkin' about, those are the ones who _choose_ to lose control. Not you."

Shippo's face had filled with a tentative hope. "So… so I'm not… going 'bad?'"

"'Course you're not. Nobody becomes evil unless they wanna. Y'understand me?"

The kitsune thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. "In… Inuyasha?" he stammered, uncertain whether to ask. "Um…"

"Spit it out, kid."

The boy bit his lip. "Did, um, did you ever transform? Back before we knew you, I mean, before you had the Tesusaiga…"

The hanyou nodded truthfully. "Yeah. 'Course, back then I was just a kid– not as much power, y'know? So I was able to keep my mind. Didn't even realize they were transformations then, since I couldn't see myself… I just knew I wanted to live, and that meant the thing in front of me had to die." Shippo opened his mouth, and then closed it again, and the hanyou sighed. "And yeah, since you don't wanna ask, I killed a few humans. I didn't wanna do it, but… well, they were coming after me. I didn't have a choice, it was self-defense."

"So… what do I do?"

Inuyasha drew a breath in through his nose, thinking. "The second thing you've gotta realize, Shippo, is… just because it's not your fault, doesn't mean it's not dangerous. Your will to live overpowers your rational mind, you stop being able to make good decisions– any decisions, really. You completely lose your sense of self." He looked over at the kit and said bluntly: "You've gotta do what you can to make sure it doesn't happen."

"Anything," the fox-demon vowed. "Just tell me!"

"Well, first things first: you've got to try to stay in this form as much as you can." Shippo looked down at his very human hands, surprised, and the hanyou explained: "It's your natural form, and your weakest, because it draws so much of your _youki._ That'll help, but it's not enough; you need a token, something to draw on your power and pull it into something more manageable." He stood up and offered the kit a hand. "C'mon. We've got to get going."

"Get going? Where?"

"Where else? Totousai's." He grinned a little as he helped the boy to his feet. "You're a little young, but hey, you've always had to act older than your age. I think it's about time we got you a proper sword."

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

"Alright, kid, hold up!"

Shippo skidded to a stop to find himself on the far edge of a clearing; the sun was setting overhead, turning the sky into beautiful watercolor of pinks and oranges, edging purple on the far side. He glanced back over his shoulder to find that Inuyasha had stopped on the other side of the clearing, looking a little out of breath. "Damn. You've got a lot of stamina, kid."

Shippo smiled despite himself; he'd noticed that the half-demon had fallen behind a few paces over the course of the last hour. "You just haven't had anyone to really push you," he replied as he walked back, far more generously than he (or any child of his age) usually would have, but he was feeling rather indebted to the hanyou at the moment, all things considered. Besides, he was feeling the strain too.

Inuyasha snorted and ruffled his carrot-top hair. "Don't bullshit me kid, I know when I've been beat." The boy glowed under his praise, and the half-demon had to hide a smirk. "C'mon, let's make camp. You light the fire, I'll catch us some food."

Soon enough two scaled and filleted fish were cooking over the open fire. Shippo stared at them for a while, not speaking. Inuyasha was a little worried about him, but decided not to show it; he remembered being the boy's age– well, relatively speaking– and figured that after crying into his suikan earlier that day, Shippo had no desire to be feel more vulnerable than he already did. So he waited patiently, in the quiet comfortable companionship of men. No talking was needed, at least until Shippo finally broke the silence.

"Hey, Inuyasha?" The hanyou looked over to see the kitsune looking at the fish, his head tilted and brows furrowed. "Why do some demons eat their meat raw? Only father always cooked ours, and so did everyone in our village, so…"

"I know what you mean." Inuyasha sat up a little straighter, stretching. "Bad habit, I guess, passed down for generations. I know Sesshomaru does, and so do the rest of the dog clan."

"So why don't you?"

"Because I was raised by a human, remember? I won't say I never have, but my ma taught me better'n that and I've always tried to live by it." He shrugged. "Puts you in a bad frame of mind. You get used to eating your food still warm and bloody, starts seeming like less of a big deal to eat it live 'n kicking. And once you stop caring about the pain of animals, well– trust me, Shippo, I've seen what happen to demons like that, it's not a road you wanna go down."

"Huh. Is that why Sesshomaru-sama can, y'know…"

"Not care when he kills people?" Inuyasha shrugged again. "It's probably part of it. He's getting better at that, though… Rin's really kicked his conscience back into working order."

"Kind of like Kagome did yours?" Shippo teased. Inuyasha chuckled.

"Kinda like that, yeah." He sniffed the air. "Food should be done."

"So how're things going between you, anyway?" Shippo inquired, taking his stick of roast fish off the fire and blowing on it to cool it down. "How's being married?"

"Best thing in the bloody world, kid."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." The hanyou sighed, almost dreamily, and Shippo had to bite back a snicker. "Y'get up in the morning to get fire going for her, and sometimes you find she's already done it. You get home at night and sometimes she's made your favorite food, just because she wants to see you smile. You see something in the market and you know it's meant for her, but somehow she's even happier you thought of her than you'd hoped she would be."

"Sounds incredible."

"Yeah. And you wanna know the best part?"

"What?"

Inuyasha smiled and shook his head, looking up at the sky. "Here's the thing: even when it's _not_ incredible, you're still together." He laughed a little, almost wistfully. "Y'know a month ago or so, we had this _huge_ fight. Started out with a little misunderstanding, we both got mad, said thing we didn't mean… y'know how it goes." Shippo nodded. "I got in a huff and left. An hour or two of sitting on my own out there in the cold got me thinking… anyway, it turned out Kagome was right the whole time. I went back expecting her to tell me to sleep outside for the night, and you know what happened?"

"What?"

"She gave me my dinner, kissed me on the cheek and let me sleep right beside her. Still mad as hell, mind, and yet– she still loved me." He shook his head, apparently still amazed, and then looked down at the kitsune and continued: "And here's the thing, Shippo: I'd do exactly the same thing for her. That's what marriage _is._ Loving each other, no matter what."

"No matter what?"

"No matter what," Inuyasha confirmed. "I never had that, before I met Kagome. Someone who's always gonna be there for you, care about you, tell you off when you need it– _always and forever._ And that's what we're all really looking for, isn't it? Someone who'll still love you when you mess up, someone you still choose to love when _they_ mess up. That's what we all really want, deep down." He fell quiet, looking at the fire, but still smiling.

Shippo smirked and took a bite of his fish. "Who knew you could be the sensitive type?"

"Agh, that girl does somethin' to me, kid… turns me into a bloody poet, I swear…" The kitsune laughed, and the hanyou chuckled with him. "I hope you find that for yourself someday, Shippo. Real, unconditional love: friends, family, your wife, your kids– wherever it is, make sure you find it. That's what makes life worth living."

"I'll try," Shippo vowed.

Inuyasha grinned at him, and then they fell back into a companionable silence. _I guess Inuyasha's right,_ the boy mused. _That's what we all really want: love, no matter what._ He glanced up at the hanyou, recalling what had happened earlier that day, and his friend's promise that the others wouldn't hate him, that _he_ didn't hate him. Shippo was sure he'd looked like a monster… but his friend still cared about him, enough to take him all this way. _Maybe… maybe I've found that, too._

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

"Up, kid. We've got a long ways to go today."

Shippo wrinkled his nose, muttered something, and opened his eyes. Inuyasha was crouched on the branch he'd been sleeping in, looking at him expectantly. Shippo yawned and rubbed his eyes, looking around. The birds were chirping and the sky was just turning from pink to blue.

"Mm. How far are we from Totousai's?"

"Little less than two days' run. We should be there by tomorrow evening." The hanyou nodded to the burnt-out campfire below. "C'mon, let's cover our tracks and get a move on."

They buried the fire and then continued on their way, running long into the day until about noon. They stopped to eat from a wild pear tree Inuyasha spotted, and then headed on their way again.

It was around two in the afternoon and mid-run when something caught Shippo's attention; his nose twitched as he absent-mindedly leapt over a small river and called over to Inuyasha, "Hey, you smell that?"

"Yeah. He must be just ahead of us." He sniffed the air and then called, "Left!"

Shippo obeyed immediately; it was common courtesy among all demons for the downwind runner to move out of the way of the demon upwind, who was less likely to sense them first. To not do so was a direct insult– not to mention a good way to get yourself into an unnecessary fight or head-on collision. "Should we stop and say hello?"

"Keh. I don't think he'll let us past if we don't!"

Within a few seconds the object of their conversation came into view; Shippo slowed his pace to a manageable one and then planted his foot hard into the earth, transferring most of his energy upwards. He bounded up against the blue sky and then hurtled downwards again, landing in a crouch in an empty clearing. A moment later, he heard Inuyasha land behind him.

They only had to wait for a second; far more nimbly than either of them, a tall, white-haired demon touched down to earth. Shippo bowed quickly, and deeply. "Lord Sesshomaru."

"Master fox." Sesshomaru-sama bowed in return, though much shallower, and then turned to his brother. "Inuyasha."

"Hey, Sesshomaru. On your way to the village?"

"How dare you speak to Lord Sesshomaru with such familiarity!" Everyone involve repressed a sigh as the small green imp who served as Sesshomaru's toady– ahem, _advisor–_ disembarked from the demon lord's fluffy tail and stalked forward, waving his Staff of Two Heads in offense. "Half-brother or no, he is still your lord and you will address him as such!"

"Jaken." The imp started and turned, shaking.

"Yes, m'lord?"

"Do not speak to my half-brother thus again."

Jaken gasped and gulped, as if he hadn't heard this order a hundred times over. "Y-yes, m'lord!"

 _Now that that's over with…_ Sesshomaru turned to his brother inclined his head. "Yes. I told Rin I would return tomorrow."

"Yeah, I remember." Inuyasha grinned, crossing his arms. "Y'know, I don't think Rin would mind having a couple of siblings. Y'ever think about gettin' yourself hitched?"

Jaken gasped and looked ready to faint; even Shippo paled. The brothers had gradually been getting on better terms over the last three years, but he was pretty sure Inuyasha had just crossed a line. He looked nervously between the demon lord and the hanyou, expecting a fight to break out at any moment.

But instead, a very, _very_ slight smirk twitched Sesshomaru's mouth, prompting Shippo's own to fall open. _He's amused?_ _I thought Inuyasha was a dead man for sure!_

"Rin is enough family for me, Inuyasha. And she does make up for having such a dreadful bore for a brother."

Inuyasha actually laughed. "Alright, alright. I'm just sayin', nothin' beats a happy home and a happy wife."

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "Yes, well, I'm afraid between ensuring the prosperity of my _lands_ and my studies in preparation for the ascent to our father's _throne,_ I don't have time for the comforts afforded to a _farmer."_

"Oho! Well, I guess it's hard to find yourself a girl when your mother keeps giving you homework and sending you outside to play." _Both_ of them were smirking by now, and Shippo wasn't sure to burst out laughing or be terrified. It was always so hard to tell with these two.

Thankfully, Inuyasha stepped aside, allowing the demon lord access to the swiftest path to the village– a merely symbolic gesture, but one that cut the tension down by at least half. "Rin will be happy to see you, anyway. Especially if you've brought her another gift."

"A new pin for her hair."

"Mm. Nice."

"And yourself? By your course, you seem to be heading to Totousai's forge." His amber eyes flicked downwards. "But the Tesusaiga seems to be in perfect working order. Or is our father's sword no longer good enough for you?"

"Oh, don't worry, the Tesusaiga's been serving me _juuust_ fine." Inuyasha smirked again and patted the hilt of the sword– an action which, five years ago, probably would have incited a fight, but which now only caused Sessshomaru to shrug.

"Do as you will. But then, if the sword has not been causing you problems…" His eyes widened a fraction, and came to settle on Shippo. The kitsune instinctively took a step back and dropped his eyes. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that his kosode, though washed, still smelled faintly of fresh blood to the discerning nose. Humiliation swept through him, and he felt a hot blush color his cheeks.

"I see." He looked up to find that Sesshomaru's face had softened slightly. "Well then, I wish you luck on your travels, Inuyasha." He began forward and glanced down. "Jaken. We're leaving."

"O-oh! Yes, m'lord!" Jaken immediately scuttled back over to the mokomoko and hopped on. With a slight crouch and push off against the earth, Sesshomaru vanished into the trees.

Inuyasha glanced over to Shippo, whose eyes were fixed once again on the dirt. He sighed. "Damn. I'm sorry, kid; I tried to be discreet…"

"It's alright. Not your fault," the kitsune mumbled. Then, a horrible idea occurred to him, and he paled, looking up.

Inuyasha stepped forward, concerned. "Kid? What is it?"

"Oh, no. No, no…" He turned to the hanyou, green eyes wide with fright. "She didn't– did she?"

"She?"

Shippo's mouth worked noiselessly for a moment before he managed to stammer: "R-Rin. Did she… see me?"

Inuyasha's face, startled and then guilty, spelled it all. Shippo closed his eyes in horror and said faintly, "No…"

Inuyasha looked down at the kitsune sadly. He knew that the boy and Sesshomaru's girl were the best of friends; Rin, now thirteen, was quickly becoming a powerful young trainee priestess in her own right, and it was no secret to anyone but her that the young demon had a bit of a puppy-love crush on her, not that Shippo would ever admit it. "Shippo…"

"She saw me? She saw me kill that bear-demon with my own claws? And… and my face…" He raised a few fingers to rub the markings that had appeared at his transformation and refused to disappear: a small turquoise symbol, like a tiny blaze of fire, upon his brow under his reddish mop, and two turquoise stripes on his cheekbones. "Inuyasha, tell me she didn't see…"

 _Oh boy._ "Shippo, she… she did more than see," the half-demon said hesitantly, stepping forward and kneeling down to meet his eyes. Shippo looked ready to cry. "She, um… she was the one who stopped you."

Shippo went even paler, dropping his hand to his shoulder. When he'd awoken alone in Kaede's hut, his bloodied kosode and vest set beside him and his shoulder bandaged, he hadn't known what caused the injury, but now he realized that the piercing wound in his shoulder was without a doubt made by an arrow. "…Rin shot me?" he whispered. Inuyasha nodded. The boy, stunned, turned and walked a few paces away.

"She was real worried about you," the half-demon said carefully. "Almost wouldn't leave your side, when you were unconscious. Y'really scared the daylights out of her when you disappeared." The kitsune didn't reply. "Shippo?"

"Get me to Totousai's," the boy said weakly, before turning to face him; his face was full of panic– and resolve. "As quickly as we can. I don't care if I have to run all night, just please, let's hurry!"

Inuyasha felt his chest constrict, and he nodded. "Yeah. 'Course, kid. Let's go."

Shippo nodded, mouth tight. Together, they dashed off into the undergrowth.

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

In the end, they didn't run all night; about an hour or two after the moon rose, the kid himself collapsed. Inuyasha was surprised; he'd been about to insist on a stop himself, his own chest burning with exhaustion, but Shippo hadn't uttered a single complaint. When he walked forward and helped the kid to his feet, however, Inuyasha realized just how much the boy had been pushing himself; Shippo was breathing hard, and his hands were shaking as he tried to lift himself off the ground.

Neither spoke a single word through the course of their meager supper of cooked fish, and Shippo was uncharacteristically quiet as they both settled themselves into their respective trees for the night. All in all, a little more than ten hours passed in utter silence between them, and it had the half-demon worried. _Silence_ was not a word that was often used with relation to Shippo.

The night was pleasantly cool, with a bright full moon, and it was relatively easy for him to drift into the usual half-sleep he maintained when he was out in insecure terrain. Memories floated through his mind, mostly about Kagome; a few made-up nonsensical conversations, the lulling tone of her voice pulling him deeper and deeper into his doze…

_…"KAGOME! GET DOWN!"_

_"I can still hit him!"_

_"Dammit, no you can't! AUGH!" He heard his head crack against the ground the instant before pain blinded his vision._

_When he came to, he found he must have been out for at least a few minutes, because Miroku was also unconscious just a few feet away, Sango's gas mask over his mouth, and a green haze had filled the air. One breath taught him better than to take a second, leaving him choking and covering his mouth with the sleeve of his suikan. "Poison. Damn!" He tried to sit up and yelped as pain splintered through his ribcage. "Shit!" At least three broken ribs. Damn, this wasn't good._

_He struggled to his feet, squinting through the haze. The villagers had all vanished, aside from a few unlucky souls who'd caught the worst of the poison and were lying dead on the ground. He breathed a sigh of relief to see that Miroku was still breathing; the gas mask had been at least partially effective. "A bear-demon that breathes poison. Just our fuckin' luck," he muttered, coughing. A thin blur streaked through the air ahead of him, purifying some of the poison; two more followed, but not nearly enough. He looked up the hill to see Rin, Kaede and Kagome standing with bows in hand, protecting the villagers behind them; unfortunately, it seemed they were almost out of arrows, and the wood and fletching was disintegrating before the bolts could ever strike the demon. "At least they're above the line of the poison." He noted that Sango was standing beside them, apparently helpless; a quick glance around informed him that the Haraikotsu was lying flat on the ground not far from him. How she'd lost it, he didn't know and didn't have time to find out._

_The bear demon was not far ahead; he struggled after it, coughing and feeling every jostling movement in his ribs. "Dammit. I can barely move!" Another spew of poison from the bear's mouth forced him back several steps, eyes watering, but he realized it wasn't directed at him. "The villagers are all up the hill; who's he after down here?!"_

_"I see you are strong, little fox!" the tri-tone voice of a mad demon echoed off the buildings around him. "You will taste far more delicious than these measly humans!"_

_"Dammit! He's after Shippo!" Inuyasha struggled forward, but he swayed as the poison in his blood seemed to make the world tip and twist under his feet. Familiar whimpering from some ways away met his ears; a cloud of poison smoke cleared momentarily, and the figure of a young boy sitting on the ground ahead of him came into view. "Shippo! Get away! Hurry!"_

_"Inuyasha! Help me!"_

_"Hn-hn-hn! Your little human friends have been incapacitated by my poison breath," the demon chuckled. "You're all alone!"_

_"Shippo! Agh!" He tripped and fell to a knee. Peering through the mist, he saw that Shippo wasn't just sitting on the ground helplessly; his right leg had been caught under the demon's foot. "Shippo!" Damn this human blood! He had- to get- through!_

_The demon bear reached down and picked Shippo in his fist; the boy screamed and struggled. "Say goodnight to your friends, little fox!"_

_And that was when something unexpected happened: through the haze of green mist; Inuyasha saw two pulsing red lights appear. "No," a voice hissed, raising the hair on his arms; it was unlike anything he'd ever heard: tri-tone, yet horribly familiar. It sounded like–_

_"I," the voice hissed, "WON'T!"_

_A rush of demonic aura blasted out from in front of him; the half-demon reeled, he'd only ever felt power like this from the likes of Sesshomaru or Naraku. "HAA!" the voice roared, and four streaks of brilliant blue light appeared. The demon bellowed as its hand was severed._

_It was like nothing he'd ever seen; Inuyasha stood, stunned, as the boy raised a clawed hand, dripping with blood, and chuckled as a sphere of blue flame appeared in his palm. The demon-bear cowered and stepped back, but it was no use; Shippo let out a scream of rage, the demonic tri-tone mixing horrifically with his innocent adolescent tenor, and charged forward, bounding up from the ground to almost hover in the air. Two sweeping slices of his claws, blazing with foxfire, rent the demon from head to toe. Shippo landed on the other side, and the bear split apart, its halved corpse falling to either side._

_Somehow, even then, Inuyasha knew that this wasn't the end of it. The mist was clearing, and out of the corner of his eye he saw one of the villagers move as if to descend. "Don't!" he shouted in warning. "He's not safe!"_

_His command, unfortunately, alerted the young demon of another presence behind him, and Shippo turned. Inuyasha finally got his first good look at the boy's face, and felt his blood run cold. Turquoise markings had appeared on the boy's formerly clear skin, stripes on his cheeks not unlike those of the hanyou's elder brother, and a tiny blue flame symbol on his brow: the sign of the kitsune kind. His reddish hair was floating in mid-air as if he'd been surrounded by an electric field, and indeed blue fire flickered in a halo around him, burning neither his clothes nor his person but charring the grass on which he stood. Shippo, his eyes gone blood-red with only the beadiest of blue irises, chuckled and cracked his bloodied fingers._

_"Shippo," Inuyasha said warily, rising and taking a step forward. "If you can hear me…"_

_Shippo eyed him coldly, head tilted. Inuyasha wondered if he were even capable of speech at the moment, or rational thought. "This isn't you. This isn't what you want. If you can understand what I'm saying, I need you to calm down." Shippo didn't moved. Maybe that was a good sign. "I'm your friend," the half-demon said carefully, reaching out his hand. "I want to help you." He stepped forward, and stumbled._

_That sign of weakness was all the trigger Shippo needed; he leapt forward, fangs bared and blue aura blazing, and Inuyasha froze, uncertain whether to draw his sword, to fight back–_

_ZZZZ-T!_

_A white-purple blur of light sang through the air, and an instant later an arrow thudded into Shippo's shoulder. The kitsune let out an unearthly scream and was thrown backwards in a blast of brilliant light. Then there was silence._

_Inuyasha looked back, stunned, to discern the identity of his savior. Above him on the ledge, Rin gasped and clutched at her mouth, dropping her bow and sinking to her knees. Her quiver was empty; it had been her last arrow._

_Inuyasha looked forward again, unable even to speak. Slowly, as the poison cleared, he staggered forward and knelt down beside the motionless form. Shippo was unconscious. His face looked peaceful, but the markings still remained. Blood covered the boy's vest and blue kosode, his claws, even his face; more blood was soaking through where the arrow punctured his shoulder. The half-demon let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding._

_"Shippo!" He looked up, startled, as Kagome dropped to her knees beside the boy. "Oh no. Quick, you! Get me some rags! And you, boil some water!"_

_"Shippo…" That was Sango's voice, not far off._

_"He must have transformed out of self-preservation." Miroku, conscious again, but Inuyasha couldn't bring himself to care. He just kept staring down at the poor little child at his knees, and wondered how the hell they'd gotten here._

…Inuyasha felt his eyes flutter open, and looked around for a moment, confused, before he remembered where he was. The moon had moved in its course, and he realized that several hours had passed. He blinked dazedly, and then froze.

Ahead of him, a pair of jade-green eyes, glowing in the darkness, quickly looked away.

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

They set out the next morning at dawn. It was a cool, windy day, growing colder as they moved further up into the mountains. Every now and again Inuyasha glanced over to his young companion to see that Shippo's nose and ears had gone red; his face was getting wind-bitten, but the boy didn't seem to notice. "Alright, we'll stop up ahead!" the half-demon called finally, when he couldn't stand the stinging in his own nose and furry ears.

"I can keep going!" the boy replied stubbornly.

"Yeah, but I can't. Stop at that ledge up there."

Reluctantly, the kitsune did so. The outcrop on which they stopped had a sparse covering of grass, large enough for several people and without an overhang, so they were free to stand and walk about as they liked. Shippo did just that, sitting down at the edge of the cliff and looking off into the distance. It was a spectacular, if frigid, view: cragged, stony mountains, some topped with snow, others with a few knotted trees or patches of grass, extended as far as the eye could see, interwoven with white clouds blown about in fantastic shapes by the same cold, stiff wind.

There wasn't enough wood for a fire, not even with Shippo's magic, so Inuyasha took out some of the fish he'd cooked extra the night before and ate it cold, extending half to Shippo. "Eat up."

The boy glanced at it and then away. "Not hungry."

"Eat it or I'll shove it down your throat."

It was the sort of threat that was only half-empty, so Shippo grudgingly accepted and munched on the fish, not speaking aside from a muttered "thank you" when Inuyasha passed him the water flask.

At long last, the inu hanyou sighed. "Shippo, c'mon, say something."

"Nothing to say."

"Bullshit."

The fox-demon glanced at him, a bit surprised, and then looked away again over the mountain pass below. "I don't wanna talk about this, Inuyasha."

"Well you're gonna have to," the other said bluntly. "Because take it from me, the people who care about you are gonna make you. And the more you bottle this up inside, the worse it's gonna get, so out with it." When the kitsune flinched and didn't reply, he added, a bit more gently, "C'mon, don't you think I get it?"

Shippo was silent for a moment, and then nodded with a grimace. "Yeah. You do." He looked up, face a little pinched and still red from the wind. "I know you said I'm not bad. But I still _feel_ bad. It was still _me,_ wasn't it?"

"Shippo, listen to me: I saw you, alright? I watched you kill that demon. Hell, Shippo, you attacked me!" The boy flinched, and Inuyasha set a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look at him. "I looked you dead in the eyes when you were about to cut me in half," he said seriously. "And I'm telling you right now, Shippo, _you are not bad._ You weren't the one making those decisions; dammit, you weren't making _any_ decisions at that point!"

"But I chose it, I chose–!"

"You were scared, you did what felt natural and let your power protect you. You didn't know what was gonna happen afterwards."

"I tried to kill you," the boy whispered. "And they all saw it. Rin, Kagome, everyone!"

"You tried to kill," Inuyasha corrected firmly. "You didn't know it was me at that point, you didn't know anything at all. Kagome explained it to me once, it's… it's natural, even human. You panicked. What happened afterwards was just… your body, your brain's natural reaction. You can't control that." Shippo looked away, and he grabbed him by the chin, forcing the boy to look at him. "Hey. You saw me kill those bandits, remember?"

The golden eyes seemed to be boring into him, and Shippo felt paralyzed. "You saw me slaughter them with my own hands," Inuyasha repeated fiercely. "Shippo, I was completely and totally out of my mind at that moment; I knew _nothing_ but bloodlust." He leaned forward and demanded: "Do you think I'm bad?"

Shippo opened his mouth, but couldn't make any words come out.

"And don't lie to me. I'll know."

The irony of the statement managed to break him out of his shock, and the kitsune swallowed and shook his head. "No," he said weakly, but honestly. "You've– you've always protected me, and been so good to Kagome and the others, and you've taken me all this way. You're… you're good, really, really good!"

"Well, I wouldn't put it that far. But thanks, kid." He let go of the boy's chin and settled back. "I'm glad we agree."

Shippo looked away, a little self-conscious, but he understood the point. "…Thanks, Inuyasha."

"Hn. No problem, kid."

The kitsune finished off the rest of his fish– somehow, it now seemed far more edible than before– and then asked the question that had been burdening him since the previous afternoon: "What about the others?"

"Hn? What about them?"

"What… what do you think they'll say?" Shippo frowned. "I mean, I know what they'll say. Kagome will hug me and tell me it's all okay, and Sango will tell me she's glad I'm home, and Miroku will make some joke… but… what'll they _really_ say? When I'm not there to hear it?"

Inuyasha glanced over, surprised by the insight. "…They'll ask me about you," he admitted. "How you're doing, whether you're okay or not… and then they'll probably ask me what it's like."

"But they already know, don't they? You've told them before…"

"Yeah, but they'll wanna hear it again. And then Kagome will probably worry about you some, and I'll have to calm her down. And they'll ask me how you're _really_ doing because they'll think I didn't tell them the truth the first time." He looked over again and said honestly, "I'd like to be able to tell them you're doing alright."

Shippo didn't reply to that, but instead asked another question. "And… Rin?"

"Oh." The hanyou sighed out through his nose and shook his head. "I dunno, kid. She's your woman, not mine."

Shippo blushed furiously and leapt to his feet on the cliff-edge. "Sh-she's not my woman!"

"Ah, okay, sure. That's why you share all your crayons with her and brought her a pretty ribbon you found last month," Inuyasha said with a nod and a barely concealed smirk. "I'm sure you do that for all the village girls."

"Sh-shut up!" The half-demon laughed, and Shippo scowled. "That's none of your business!"

"Like hell it ain't! All that time making fun of me and Kagome for not having our act together, well now the tables have turned!" Inuyasha stood up, hands on his hips and grinning down at the kitsune like it was his birthday and Shippo was the prize gift. "I am going to tease you _mercilessly._ You will regret every snarky little comment and insult, I promise you that!"

"B-but we're not– Rin and I aren't–!"

"Ah c'mon, Shippo, I know you're a ginger but real men don't blush like that, it's embarrassing."

_"Shut up!"_

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

Inuyasha's prediction had been correct; they reached Totousai's forge just before sunset later that day. "Hey, Totousai!" Inuyasha called, rapping on the roof of the mouth of the demon-skull which served as the sword-smith's house. "Y'home? We need some help!"

"Eh? Inuyasha?" Shippo shrank back a little behind the half-demon as the old sword-smith came to the front of the house. "Well now, and the little fox too! My lands, I'd never thought I'd see this day!"

"Eh? What day's that?"

"The day a son of the Inu no Taisho learned how to knock!"

Inuyasha did not look amused. He crossed his arms, scowling, and snapped, "Look, I didn't come all this way to chat! Can you help us or not?"

"Help you? Oh, you had better not be here to tell me something else has gone wrong with my precious Tesusaiga!"

 _"Your_ Tesusaiga?!"

"My swords are like my children; I care about what happens to them after they leave home!" Inuyasha scoffed, and the swordsmith took the moment to snatch the blade out of its sheath without the hanyou's permission.

"Hey! Did I say you could touch it?!"

Totousai ignored him and flicked the sword, easily transforming it into its more powerful mode. "Hm, no, looks just fine to me." He re-sheathed the sword just as easily. "Unless you are looking to purchase a new sword?"

"Yeah, but not for me." He jerked his head behind him. "Shippo, get over here."

The boy stepped forward uncertainly. "Er, hi."

Totousai examined him skeptically. "Hm. He's a little young, isn't he?"

"He's ten by human standards; good time as any to start his education."

"Mm-hm." Totousai didn't look fooled. "So you came to the best demon swordsmith in the land, instead of training with bamboo like every other boy his age. Yes, that seems logical."

"Look, old man, it ain't none of your _business_ why Shippo wants a–"

"Inuyasha," Shippo broke in, cutting off the surprised hanyou. He turned to Totousai and admitted honestly: "I need a sword like Inuyasha's to stop myself from transforming. I don't know how to control my youki and I'm scared I'll hurt someone if I don't find a way to stop it."

Totousai nodded, satisfied. "I thought as much. That does change things, but I should be able to have a sword ready for you by tomorrow evening."

"Tomorrow evening?!" Inuyasha demanded, stepping forward. "It took you three days to fix Tesusaiga!"

"Believe it or not, Inuyasha, fixing a sword forged from the fang of the greatest demon to ever live and shattered by the biggest _dunce_ to ever live is not the easiest task in the world!"

"Why you–!"

"Tomorrow evening is great, Master Totousai, thank you," Shippo cut in, bowing deeply. "But I don't have a way to pay you..."

"Ohh, I wouldn't say that! I have a few blades that need to be tempered, and foxfire is splendid for heating different metals to just the right degree! You can help work, and I'll repay you with the blade. But first, I'll need a fang of yours to work with…"

"Hold on a minute," Inuyasha said, pulling some weeds out of his pocket that Shippo had noticed him gathering the evening before. "Chew on this, kid. He's gonna pull a tooth, and this numbs the pain."

Totousai looked at him, surprised. "Inuyasha, I have numbing roots myself in the back. Did you really think I'd pull the boy's tooth out without them?"

"You didn't give any to me before, old man!"

"Of course not. I didn't need to give any to _you_ , you were almost a full grown man."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when you rip a fang out of my mouth!"

Once all the bickering was through and Shippo's gums were sufficiently numbed, Totousai got his pliers and pulled out one of the boy's front fangs. "Hm. Good, healthy, nice size… you come from good stock, don't you, boy?"

"Yep! Papa was a real powerful demon," Shippo said proudly. "He defended our village for a long time; it took both of the Thunder Brothers to bring him down, and most of the other villagers escaped because of him! He was very brave."

"A worthy man, it sounds. This fang will do nicely; it should help manage your youki, and will itself grow more powerful as you do."

"Thank you again, Sir."

"No trouble at all. Now, you see those swords over there? Start with the one on the right, get it good and hot…"

Shippo worked late into the night tempering the swords, while Totousai worked away at forging a new katana. Inuyasha mainly sat off to the side in a huff, clearly impatient. He was more than happy to go out and fetch them dinner, coming back with an entire wild boar to feed the hungry demons. When at last Totousai sent them on their way to get some rest, Shippo couldn't help but feel proud; he'd never been so useful, and he'd never struck his own bargain and worked a job before. Inuyasha noticed the satisfaction on his face and ruffled his hair. "You did good, kid. Feels pretty great to do good honest work, doesn't it?"

"Sure does! What d'you think the sword will look like?"

"On a guess? Sharp and shiny."

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

"Come here, boy. I need your help with this part."

Shippo glanced over his shoulder and set down the sword he'd just finished tempering. It was late in the day the next afternoon, and before him Totousai held a sword which was, indeed, very sharp and shiny. "Master Totousai?"

"I've more or less finished it, aside from the polishing and sharpening, but kitsune fangs are very resilient against ordinary demon fire; only foxfire will work for the final tempering. You'll need to heat it very hot, hot enough for the blade to glow white."

"Won't you be burned by the steam when you quench it?"

"Oh, a little, but I'm used to that. Go on, boy."

Shippo bit his lip with his fangs (the pulled one had grown back over the course of the night), and then closed his eyes and held them out over the sword. A blue sphere of fire appeared and then widened, licking at the blade. "Hotter," Totousai urged. "We need it glowing, remember."

The boy nodded; the fire began to glow brighter, until at last the light of it was a nearly blinding blue-white. Inuyasha shielded his eyes; even Shippo grimaced a little, but Totousai stared right into the flame with his bulbous white eyes. With sudden wildness he cried "Now!" and leapt to his feet, seizing the sword. In the next moment a cloud of steam erupted from the quenching vat, dousing the fox-fire mid air.

Shippo coughed in the steam and waved a hand in front of his face, trying to get some ordinary oxygen into his lungs. When the mist cleared, Totousai was pulling the blade out of the vat, a few blisters on his hands and face. Shippo gasped. "Oh no! You did get burned!"

"I'm a sword-smith, boy, it's an occupational hazard. I'll heal up in a few hours, don't you worry about a thing. Have you finished tempering the blades? Good. Go wait outside a few hours; I'll bring you the blade when it's ready. You too, Inuyasha."

The kitsune and half-demon left the forge and headed for a few sparse trees that dared to grow some distance away from the belching lava flow. "D'you think Master Totousai will be alright?" Shippo questioned, worried.

"Keh. That old geezer's been doing this for five hundred years, Shippo; trust me, he's gonna be just fine."

And so he was, for when Totousai emerged from the forge several hours later, carrying a sheathed blade in his gnarled hands, his blisters had entirely vanished. "Here you are. One youki-moderating blade for the kitsune."

"Thank you, Master Totousai," Shippo said bowing again as he accepted the sword.

"Well go on, try it out!"

Shippo slipped the sword into the ties of his hakama and then hesitantly drew the katana from its sheath. He'd never held a real sword before. The sunlight gleamed off the edge of the sharp, silvery blade, and the boy marveled. "Wow."

"It's for cutting things, Shippo, not for looking at yourself in the reflection," Inuyasha teased. "Attack something."

"Attack something? What?" He didn't really feel like trying out his new sword on the scattered lava rocks at his feet.

"Use this," Totousai said, a bit grumpily, and pulled a little straw doll from inside his tunic; when he dropped it, it turned into a full-size straw man. He raised an eyebrow at their surprised expressions. "You wouldn't believe how many times I've had a house destroyed because a customer wanted to try out their new toy. Do you think I wanted to live inside a giant skull?"

Shippo didn't have much experience with swordplay, but he'd seen Sango and Inuyasha train enough to know a few basic moves. Taking a stance, he held the blade out in front of him and focused hard on the straw man. To his surprise, the sword burst into blue flame, and he dropped it with a yelp.

"Oy! Treat it like that and I'll take it back!" Totousai scolded, rescuing the blade from the lava rocks.

"I-It started on fire!"

"The blade draws on a substantial amount of your youki; that's why it helps stop you from transforming. Your particular aura manifests itself as foxfire; bursting into flames is a perfectly natural reaction for the sword of a powerful young kitsune such as yourself. Now for goodness' sakes, use the thing and show us what it's made of!"

Shippo nodded and held out the sword again; the blue flames arose again, surrounding the blade and gleaming off the new metal. With a deep breath, he raised the sword and swung downwards. "Ha!"

The straw man split diagonally across the middle… and then promptly burst into flames.

Shippo beamed and laughed in amasement. "Did you see that?!" he demanded of Inuyasha, nearly bouncing with excitement. "I _demolished_ it!"

"Well done," the half-demon said with a grin, deciding not to mention that most opponents were not motionless dolls made of straw.

"A sword like that deserves a name," the sword-smith said sagely. "What will you call it, boy?"

Shippo looked down at the sword pensively. Blue-green flames still licked the blade, and the answer came easily. _"Kaensaiga,"_ he said firmly.

"Hm. Fang of Flame. I like it," Inuyasha approved. "It's fitting."

"This is absolutely incredible." The boy re-sheathed the sword, the blue flames extinguished as the blade was covered. "Thank you again, Totousai-sama."

The old man blushed at the honorific and waved his hand airily. "No trouble at all, boy; in fact I'm rather proud of that sword, it was a real pleasure to make it. Take good care of it, will you?"

"I will! I promise!"

"Good lad. Now, will you do me a favor? Could you perhaps fetch me my water canteen from the forge? I'm parched"

As Shippo bounced back towards the house, the sword-smith caught the half-demon's arm. "Inuyasha," he said quietly, "I feel I must warn you: the boy may be young, but he is already very powerful, and that power will only continue to grow. He will need a guiding hand…"

"Don't worry, Totousai," Inuyasha reassured, not even needing to hear the question. "I'll take care of him. I promise."

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

The return to Kaede's village was a much happier journey than the way to the forge, and by the end of the third day, they'd made such good time that the pair had slowed their pace to a leisurely walk. The village wasn't far ahead. "You're a real man now, Shippo," Inuyasha said, and it would have been a lie to say that there wasn't pride in his voice. "But that means you've got more responsibilities now. It's up to you to help us defend the village."

"I know. But I want to help, I always have!" Shippo beamed up at the half-demon. "And now I finally can! I'm going to be a real help to all of you, just wait and see!"

Inuyasha laughed and ruffled his hair. "I'm sure you will be, kid."

They stopped as they came to the crest of the hill overlooking the village. It was a lovely spring day; the sun shimmered warm in the bright blue sky, the birds were singing, and the grass grew green and springy underfoot. But at that moment, all Shippo cared about were the people working diligently down in the rice fields. He saw the two pairs of brigh red hakama and white kimonos that designated the younger village mikos, bringing around fresh water to the farmers. He saw the tied-up purple kasaya and darker hakama worn by one particular farmer, after whom trailed several children and a woman in a pink-and-green kimono, all of them planting rice in the paddies as they went along. And past that he saw the other villagers, people he'd come to know and respect, people who treated him well despite being born of a different race and clan than their own. As he watched, the woman with her children stopped and looked up at him, shielding her eyes. Distantly he heard the call: _"They're back!"_

The mikos turned and abandoned their water pails; the monk his farming tools; the woman and her children their green stalks. All of them hurried up the hill to meet him, smiling, greeting him. Shippo stared up at all of them, stunned.

"Shippo, you're home!" Kagome knelt down and swept him into a hug, her scent enveloping him and bringing to mind the one word he'd always associated with her: _mother!_ "How are you?" she inquired with worry, drawing back and tilting his head up with her gentle hands. "Was it a hard journey? Inuyasha, you did make sure he ate enough, didn't you?"

"Feh. 'Course I did."

"Good." She smiled at the kitsune and promised sincerely: "Now don't you worry about a thing, Shippo; it's all okay. You're home and that's what matters."

"We're so glad you're back, Shippo," Sango agreed sincerely. "We were really worried about you when you ran off, you know."

"Oh. Um, sorry… I just…"

"Oh come on, ladies, a boy has to run away from home at least once in his life, it's a right of passage!" Miroku teased. "So, Shippo, did you meet any cute kitsunes out there?"

"N-no! Of course not!"

"Ooh, touchy, touchy…"

"Alright, guys, alright, give the kid room to breathe!" Inuyasha said loudly. They backed off, still beaming at him, and Shippo found that he was smiling back.

At least until he met the eyes of the last welcomer. Rin looked back at him, biting her lip, and his smile vanished. Shippo swallowed and dropped his eyes, kicking at the ground. "Um, hey," he said quietly. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Inuyasha give the others a meaningful look, and the adults quickly and discreetly left, leaving the two young ones alone. Shippo snuck a glance up at Rin and found her still looking back at him, beautiful and thirteen and mature and his best friend, and her face completely unreadable.

"Hi," Rin said back softly. "Um, how was the trip?"

"Huh? Oh. Fine, yeah, it was fine…" He trailed off. Silence fell over the spring day, aside from the birds and the burbling of the river in the distance.

"Oh Shippo, thank goodness you're okay!" He started as he felt her arms fling themselves around him, and then he realized that Rin was hugging him, and… crying? Yes, he could smell saltwater. She was crying. Why?

"Rin?" he said uncertainly, and found his voice choked.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, _so_ sorry! I just didn't know what else to do!"

"N-no, you- you did the right thing!" he insisted, drawing back a little. Rin's eyes glimmered with tears. "Rin, I… _I'm_ sorry. I scared you. I scared _myself."_

"Shippo…"

"I didn't mean to lose control, honest. I just… I don't know how to stop it. That's why Inuyasha took me to get the sword. Eventually I'll learn to control it on my own, or so he says, but until then…" Shippo blushed, ducking his head. "I'm really sorry for scaring you," he whispered. _Don't hate me. Please, don't hate me._

"You don't have to apologize," Rin said softly, drawing his attention upwards in surprise. She reached forward and caught her hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It wasn't your fault. You have nothing to apologize for."

Shippo stared at her, stunned and not a little embarrassed, flushing at the cheeks. Rin blushed as well and quickly let go of his hand. "Can, um, can I see the sword?"

"Huh? Oh. O-oh, yeah." Still red in the face, the boy stepped back and drew the sword. Immediately blue tendrils of flame swirled around the blade, and Rin gasped.

"Wow. It's so pretty."

"U-um, thanks. I think." She nodded and smiled that sunny smile at him, and that was when Shippo knew for sure that they were really okay. He sheathed the sword and grinned back at her. "So, um, what can I do to help around here?"

Rin giggled. "Well, you can help me fetch more water if you like."

"I'm on it!" Shippo dashed down the hill in search of her forsaken water pail, and Rin laughed aloud. He shot another grin over his shoulder at her, still in pursuit down the hill, and marveled at the way the sunlight seemed to beam down on her hair and glint in her pretty brown eyes, or maybe it was simply the joy that radiated from her face that made him feel all warm inside, so warm he knew he'd never forget it. _I've found it, Inuyasha, I know I have._

Yes, he knew, he would never forget that day.


	3. The Academy

**Warnings: descriptive physical violence against/bullying of a child, description of a violent death, blood, cursing, school bullying.**

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

The rice fields looked bare and empty in the dying light of the late autumn sun, glowing golden over the drained earth and on the pale peach face of the boy watching it. "Boy" was here used only in the most technical of terms; by human standards, the turquoise-clad youth standing at the edge of the fields would have been a teenager, on the threshold of manhood, by all appearances thirteen and not a day older.

Appearances, however, could be deceiving. Shippo, being a kitsune, knew all about deceiving appearances; for instance, his youthful face hid his ninety-one years well, and his quiet, contemplative posture hid a power that could be both wonderful and terrifying. Lately, he'd been using appearances to hide a lot of things; ever since the harvest feast two weeks back, he'd been hiding his own misery rather well– or so he thought.

"Something's wrong with him."

From the door of their hut, the village priestess and surrogate mother to the young kitsune glanced over her shoulder. Her husband, a silver-haired inuyoukai hanyou, glanced down at her, golden eyes gleaming in the sunlight. "It's not like him to be all moody like this."

"He was like this last fall, too. And right after he came back in the spring," the priestess sighed. "And on every visit home, too, now that I think about it."

"It's that damn Academy. He used to love going; now…" Her husband shook his head and didn't finish.

"Do you think something happened?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. Every time I ask he grins and says he loves it there, loves learning…damn if he doesn't do enough learning here, studying every night the way he does." He sighed irritably, crossing his arms. "But you know as well as I do how prejudiced demons can be, Kagome—'specially against those they think are weak."

"Surely, not because of…?" She trailed off. He shrugged again, eyes dark; she knew he was angry at feeling so helpless, but there was nothing they could do if Shippo kept pretending to be happy. Pushing it would only make it worse.

But Kagome was a mother at heart, as evidenced by the two little ones playing cheerfully with building blocks (about five hundred years too early) in the corner of the small hut behind them, and the rounding belly beneath the tie of her hakama. Maybe she couldn't convince Shippo to tell them what was wrong, but she could make sure he felt safe and loved when he was home. So she did what she knew best to do: cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, _"Shippo! Come in for dinner!"_

Across the distance (beyond a human's reach of hearing, certainly), the boy's head turned; she saw him crouch down in the golden light, and then, with a few blurred, bounding jumps, he landed in front of the door. "Yeah? What're we having?" he said, with a grin that was just a little too toothy to be real.

Kagome smiled back and pretended not to notice. "Soup with turnips, your favorite."

Really? Thanks, Kagome! You're the best!"

"Eh, wash up before you get your ma's floor all dirty," Inuyasha chided, clucking his tongue and nodding to the washbasin. Shippo nodded and smiled again, a real smile this time, and for just a moment, they knew he was happy.

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

Gold morning sunlight beamed through the cracks in the mat curtain, and Shippo squinted a little in his sleep, mumbling as he tried to roll over.

"Mornin', kid. Don't you gotta get going?"

He opened his eyes to see Inuyasha looking down at him, and felt his belly do a flip-flop. He forced a grin and chirped, "Yeah! Don't wanna be late!"

The half-demon didn't buy it, and he certainly wasn't any more convinced as he watched Shippo move as slowly as possible and fuss over tedious things in his morning routine, but didn't mention it.

All too soon it was time for the kitsune to leave; the morning sun was climbing into the sky, turning it from pale yellow to an even paler blue, melting away the first frost of the season. Although a few golden leaves still clung to the trees, demons and humans alike could taste winter in the air. Shippo had come to hate that smell.

Everyone had come to see him off; Sango and Miroku with their brood; Inuyasha and Kagome with their own two little daughters chasing after, rubbing their eyes; even old Kaede-sama, hobbling out with her cane in the early dawn. And Rin, of course. Shippo couldn't decide whether to be happy or sad to see her; he was, after all, a teenage boy in love, and emotions at such an age can be difficult even in the best of circumstances.

"Promise you'll come back and visit for New Years'?" Kagome fussed, straightening his kosode and smoothing the rumpled fur of his vest. Shippo grinned up at her.

"I promise, Kagome."

"Make sure you keep good care of your sword," Inuyasha instructed him. "Oil it down every week—and I mean _every_ week."

Shippo rolled his eyes in such a teenager-ish way that the women in the group had to bite their lips to keep from giggling. "I _know,_ Inuyasha. I'm not an idiot."

"Yeah, well, any time you feel like being lazy, just remember all the effort I went to get the rust off the Tesusaiga."

"Like I said, _I'm_ not an idiot."

Inuyasha growled. "Why you–" He pounced, making Shippo yelp and laugh as he caught the boy in a headlock and knuckled his hair. "Gimme lip one more time, kid, and I swear fox'll be on the menu!" Shippo laughed again, shoving the headlock off. The hanyou grinned at him and ruffled his hair, causing the kitsune to beam up at him; there was little in this world he craved more than the half-demon's praise.

Little, but not nothing. A soft giggle drew his attention, and he looked over, quickly flushing red. Rin—beautiful, sixteen, his best friend and maybe (he hoped, begged Inari-sama, just _maybe)_ a little more—smiled back at him. "I, um, I made you something," she said, pinking at the cheeks herself and holding out what appeared to be a very small cloth parcel. "A going-away present. Kagome-sama helped me." Shippo accepted it, curious, and undid the tie to find it was a carved wooden locket. Rin smiled. "Promise you'll wear it?"

Shippo blushed even redder and nodded. "O-okay."

Rin beamed and flung her arms around him, causing him to freeze up in embarrassment. It wasn't that they'd never hugged before, of course—but, well, he could _see_ the smirks Miroku and Inuyasha were giving him. Rin seemed to remember their audience just as abruptly, flushing and quickly pulling away, wringing her wrists.

Shippo strung the locket over his head and tucked it into his kosode, then looked up at them and bit his lip. "Well…I guess I should be going."

Kagome, predictably, sniffled and hugged him tightly. "Be good—eat plenty of food– come home safe, alright? Promise me!"

"Which one?"

"All of them!"

He promised, and she kissed the top of his head before pulling away. Inuyasha gripped his shoulder and gave him a gruff, "Good luck, kid," which he knew meant just as much, if not more, than his surrogate mother's tears. Sango and Miroku each wished him luck, the kids cried and hung onto his legs until their parents pried them off and then—Shippo always saved her for last—he turned back to Rin.

"Do your best, Shippo-kun," she said, with so much confidence in him that he vowed then and there to make her proud. He took one last look at their faces– proud, hopeful, happy, already missing him– and summoned his courage, willing himself to remember this moment in the difficult months ahead.

"I won't let you down," he vowed. "I'll make you all proud!" Then, before he could lose his nerve, he turned and took off running. Within a few moments, though he didn't dare look back, he knew that they were out of his sight.

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

The kitsune ran long into the day, stopping only around noon to catch and cook some fish from a small stream. He tried not to worry too much as he ran and, being a teenage boy, actually found this rather easy. He could ignore his problems for several more hours yet and just enjoy the crisp autumn air and feel of the pounding earth against his bare feet.

All too soon, however, he landed before the red gatepostsof the Academy. Shippo himself was like a spot of blue in a sea of russets and scarlets; from the shrine-posts to the maple trees to his own strawberry-blonde hair, everything except his kosode and hakama had a reddish tint.

Taking a deep breath, the teenage kitsune climbed the steps to the academy and crossed under the gate; as he did so, he felt the air ripple around him, the foxfire-blue aura confirming him to be a kitsune and granting him admittance.

As a boy, the Academy had been Shippo's favorite place in the whole world, and with good reason. Settled in a grove of maples at the edge of the sea, from the beginning of autumn to the end of winter the temple-like school housed nearly a hundred kitsune, ranked by skill and, usually, by age. By night they slept in dormitories, all of the boys in dormitories one and two, young and old, and, Shippo presumed (he could only presume, since sneaking into the female dormitory was strictly forbidden) the girls separated similarly in the third and fourth. He was now in the top rank for the younger dormitory. By day, however, they were separated by class and (usually) by age, either learning history and theory in the main lecture hall or practicing their skills in the main temple under the watchful eye of the statue of Inari-sama.

At the thought, Shippo gulped and rested his hand on the hilt of his sword. He had moved beyond trickster jokes and pranks several years previous, and now the real training had commenced: true fighting, day in and day out with each of his fellow ranking classmates, each struggling to best the others in competitions of skill and cunning—and to prove themselves to Headmaster Shizuei before the end of winter. For Shippo, those three months were always a hard-fought battle. Unlike the other kitsune, who would often take ten years to master a level, Shippo couldn't afford to waste his time, unless he wanted to be left behind with the comparably immature demons.

His mortality and relative inexperience, consequentially, made him usually among the worst students in his class at the beginning of the year. Already he was two classes behind where he, developmentally, should have been, having twice failed his end-of-year examinations. On top of that, his necessary history of one-upping his classmates and quick transition between classes made it nearly impossible for him to make friends. Truth be told, Shippo was probably the least popular kitsune at the Academy.

This fact showed itself the moment he walked into the dormitory. Everybody, from the thumb-sucker kits to his fellow top-junior students, stopped and turned to look at him. Shippo swallowed, ducked his head and headed for the first futon he saw; maybe if he claimed one as his own and settled in quick for the night, they'd all forget he was there.

No such luck. Fast as blinking, another kitsune leapt in front of him: Ritsuto-san, if Shippo remembered his name right. So this was his new bully for the year. "Nn-nn," the other fox said coldly, crossing his arms. "You sleep on that one by the door—the one Saichi-kun had last year."

Shippo bit his lip and glanced over, trying hard not to let his mouth curl in disgust as he spotted the stained futon. Saichi, one of the younger demons, was a notorious bed-wetter. He looked back and saw not just Ritsuto-san, but also Kenzo-san and Hougo-san, his adversaries from the previous two years, glaring back at him. The redhead swallowed and turned without a word. Inside, he was seething. _I could tear you all apart if I wanted,_ he growled internally. _My father was the headman of our village, the strongest kitsune ever! I'm as strong as he was and if I wanted I could pound you all into the ground!_ Then he felt bad for thinking such things and scolded himself. _I wouldn't really. I won't let myself hate them; hatred makes you do bad things, and I know how much damage I can do…_

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

It was a bad night, for everyone really, but especially for Shippo. The younger kitsune were homesick, sniffling and sobbing all night, so nobody got a wink of rest. Moreover, every time Shippo finally got to sleep, he found himself kicked awake when somebody accidentally tripped over his futon on the way to the door in the yet-unfamiliar surroundings. Some of the kicks were so sharp he wondered if they were really accidental.

Nevertheless, when dawn broke, Shippo got up, washed his face and left, even as all the other boys mumbled and rolled over, intending to sleep until just before breakfast. The grounds of the school were quiet, filled with a gentle golden dawn and the red scattered maple leaves. Shippo stretched, breathed in the crisp fresh air, and headed off in the direction of the garden.

Although not many people were aware, Shippo was a very religious young man, and had been for nearly as long as he could remember. It was not a matter so much of study and understanding as it was a matter of love, the deep and cherishing love of a child to a parent, and the focus of this love was the goddess of his kind: the Lady Inari, _kami_ of the kitsune. Shippo had never known his mother, who had died when a mistaken step had resulted in a fall, causing the expectant mother to go into labor months early. She had died from the delivery and the rest of the litter, born too soon, had perished, leaving only him behind without so much as a single memory of her. Shippo supposed that this was why he had bonded so closely to Kagome; while Inuyasha served often as a father-figure, he was not _Father_ to Shippo, who had had a father and had lost him. But Kagome was _Mother,_ very simply so, and so was Inari-sama, the beautiful lady he adored so deeply. He always preferred to think of her as a goddess despite the deity's ability to shapeshift into any form she pleased; she was as dear to him as his own natural dam.

Although the main temple held the great statue of Inari-sama, Shippo's favorite place in the Academy was the small secondary shrine, hardly big enough for one person, situated in the garden in the center of a small pond. He crossed over the bridge and was greeted by the appointed priestess of the academy, a sunny young kitsune of a hundred and ten years old by the name of Akiko, and one of the few friends Shippo had at the Academy. "Good morning, Shippo-chan!" she called cheerfully, pausing her sweeping. "Come to visit Inari-sama?"

"Good morning, Akiko-chan. Yeah, I thought I'd better say hello before I really start training! Can I go in?"

"Sure thing! You got everything you need?"

"Uh-huh! But thank you. I won't stay long."

The girl let him pass, and Shippo approached the shrine, washing his hands and face in the temizuya before entering.

The statue of Inari-sama greeted him, smiling gently as always, the key and jewel held in her hands. Shippo bowed twice deeply, and then set about preparing everything he'd brought. The kitsune had their own particular way of honoring their patroness: he set a cup of sake and a plate of daifuku before the statue and used his foxfire to light the sticks of sacred incense, their scent one unknown to the goddess's human devotees. He clapped his hands twice, and then bowed again.

_Inari-sama, I know I ask for a lot; some people would probably say I'm greedy for it. But I'm confident that it makes you happy to answer me, because you're as good as a mother to me, and mothers like giving their children good things! Inari-sama, please help me to do well this year, and help everyone back home to be happy and safe while I'm away. Please, look out for Kagome-chan and Inuyasha-san, and Miroku-san and Sango-san too, and all of their kits. And Rin…take care of Rin for me, Inari-sama, won't you? She deserves to be happy…I promise, Mother, with your help I'm sure to make her proud of me! I'll do my very best!_

Outside the shrine, Akiko paused in her sweeping and glanced through the entrance. For a moment she found herself utterly captivated by the expression of such profound love and trust on Shippo's face as he gazed up into the eyes of the goddess, like a child looking up into the eyes of his own mother.

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

It had been a long day for Shippo. He'd spent the whole of his lecture classes furiously taking notes while the other students kicked back and relaxed, already well-versed in the first day's material and unworried about passing the section exam, unlike Shippo, who knew he'd have to repeat the whole first section again over and over until he passed, wasting time he didn't have. His ensuing mental exhaustion had not served him well in sparring, which was half dependent on wit, and had had the tar beaten out of him by one classmate after another.

At lunch he'd lost his meal to a prank he'd been too mentally exhausted to foresee, and, while he'd managed to be cleverer concerning his supper, he'd done so by taking his food out of the dining hall and eating in the surrounding maple wood. Twice he'd caught Headmaster Shizuei watching him with a guilty expression, but the old kitsune had quickly looked away each time. Shippo knew why, and found it hard not to be bitter. _This is your fault,_ he thought resentfully. _If you hadn't been such a coward, I wouldn't have had to go after Hideki myself…I might still be normal…_

He finally returned to the dormitory just as the sun went down, the official curfew for his level. Thankfully, nobody bothered him any further aside from shooting him dirty looks, and he was allowed to get ready for bed and lay down on his stained mattress in peace. Misery kept him awake for another hour, before the last lamp in the room was blown out and even he drifted off to sleep.

His rest, unfortunately, was no more peaceful than his waking hours.

_"Father! Father, wait up!"_

_It was a happier time, a more peaceful time. The sky was a beautiful sapphire blue, the grass green and springy, and the smell of distant storms was on the air. The little boy dashed through the grass with his treasure, eagerly seeking the scent of his father._

_"You won't believe it! Look how many acorns I found!"_

_The grass parted in front of him, and he stopped dead. Terror momentarily deafened him; the acorns spilled out of his hands. Dimly somewhere he knew that this wasn't right—he'd come upon his father's corpse already skinned and tanned, hung around Monten's monstrous gut– but in his waking hours he'd been tormented so many times by the thoughts of what must have happened while he was blissfully gathering acorns that now his macabre imaginations were given full license to run free. His father's corpse, fox-form, lay dead upon the ground, and Monten was about ready to make his first cut._

_"No!" The shift from kit to young man was as fluid as thought as Shippo drew his sword. "Get away from him!"_

_"Hn-hn-hn. Look who it is," Monten sneered, cocking his head but not rising. "The little fox kit."_

_"Give him back! Father!"_

_"He's already dead, you stupid boy," Hiten drawled, arms crossed. "But if you want him, come get him yourself."_

_Shippo let out a war-cry and charged forward, the Kaensaiga blazing with blue light—yet with one swift movement, Hiten disarmed him, spun him around and seized him by the shoulders. Shippo struggled, but to no avail. "Let me go! I'll kill you! I'll kill you for what you did to him!"_

_"Oh really?" Hiten let out a low chuckle. "Well, let's put you in a real rage for the fight! Go on, Monten."_

_"But of course, brother." The silver tanner's knife gleamed._

_Blood sprayed, and Shippo screamed._

_"FATHER!"_

_"Hn-hn!"_

_Blood, so much blood, oh Inari-sama, make them stop! "NO! FATHER!"_

_Silver. Red. And then– bone-white–_

_"FATHER!"_

Real pain, physical pain, jolted him awake, still screaming. "Father! FATHER!"  
"Shut _up!"_

Another solid kick to his gut choked him, forcing him to double over, even as his mind scrambled to put everything together. It was so dark; where was he? Where were– were–

"You stupid kit!" _Thud!_

This kick came from solidly behind him against his spine, and finally Shippo realized what had happened: he'd had a nightmare and awoken his classmates. Several of them, actually, if the moonlit glimpses of hair and eyes were anything to go by–

 _Wham!_ "Aghah!" Blindly he reached for his sword, but a foot kicked it away, sending it skittering across the room.

"I've had enough of you!" _Crunch!_ Shippo cried out again, this time fully awake, as his nose shattered against somebody's foot. "Thinking– you can– one-up– us!" Each word was punctuated with a blow. "You– stupid– little–"

"Why do you even come here?!" another voice sneered; another kick caused a sickening _crack_ from his side that left the kitsune dizzy with pain. "Just go home!"

"Eh, what's this?!"

He barely had time to interpret the question before the string holding the locket around his neck was yanked upwards and snapped. "No," Shippo gasped in panic. "Please–"

"A gift from those _humans_ you live with?!" The vandal—Shippo now recognized him as Ritsuo-san—threw the locket down on the ground in disgust and made to stomp it.

"No!"

_Flash!_

A blinding shock of light burst out from the locket and sent Ritsuo flying backwards into a wall. Now everyone was awake; the other kitsune was cursing violently. "What the hell?!" he bellowed. "That thing's blessed?!"

"It didn't hurt _him!"_ one of the others realized furiously. "He's been wearing it all day and didn't get burnt!"

"'Cuz he's got no demon power!" Ritsuo accused. "He's basically human already!"

This was in fact nearly true; shortly after returning, newly-mortal, from the evil Hideki's lair six years previous, Shippo had found that blessed objects and sacred ofudas no longer had any effect on him unless he was actively channeling his youkai energy to do magic, as none of it was actually operating within his skin or bones to prevent aging. He hadn't even noticed that the locket was blessed. Shippo was just about to growl out this explanation before somebody sent a swift kick to his diaphragm.

Somehow the fact of the blessed locket sent the other boys into a rage far beyond their mere anger before; the rain of blows inflicted on him caused the younger kitsune to curl up into a ball, trying to protect himself. At last they grew tired, their blows fading away into snickering laughter. Too battered and humiliated to move, Shippo simply lay there, seething, covered in tears and mucus mixed with blood. A hatred he hadn't felt since first setting eyes on the Thunder Brothers welled up inside him. _I'll kill them,_ he vowed, trembling, _I'll kill all of them, every last one of them!_ He could feel his hands shaking, knuckles cracking as his hands twisted into claws; needle-prickles of heat were sweeping through him, eyesight narrowing to a single red-tinged pinpoint, and all he had to do, all he had to do was give in, release the gates holding back the flood of raw power…

But there, among all the instincts screaming at him to seek vengeance, to assert his dominance, the strength of his blood and line over these people who hurt him and mocked him and _hated_ him…there, deep inside, he heard a calm, reassuring voice:

_"You're no different, Shippo, 'cept you're a full-blooded demon. That makes it even harder on you. But it ain't your fault, alright? The demons your dad was talkin' about, those are the ones who choose to lose control. Not you."_

_"So… so I'm not… going 'bad?'"_

_"'Course you're not. Nobody becomes evil unless they wanna. Y'understand me?"_

His breath caught, and then slowed. Kill them? What was he thinking? Yeah, maybe they were jerks, maybe they hated him, maybe they deserved a punishment they were never gonna get…but they were still people. They didn't deserve to die, not for this, and more importantly, Shippo knew he didn't want to be the kind of person who could do that to someone else. _Nobody becomes evil unless they wanna,_ he heard Inuyasha repeat firmly, _y'understand me?_

Eventually his tormenters grew tired of watching him cower and left him lying there, going back to their pallets. The room was silent, filled with tension. None of the other students had dared get in the way, reluctant to become the target of the older boys' sport. Sniffling to himself, the kitsune focused his magic on the sharp pains in his side and face. A soft blue aura appeared as the fractured bones knit themselves back together, and he paused in fear that his assailants would return, but nobody did. The darkness was alive with their fear and hatred.

From the depths of his heart, a deep loneliness welled within him. Eyes burning, he swept up his sword and the locket, and fled the room, hoping against hope that he wouldn't be followed.

Somehow, nobody bothered to go after him. Outside the dormitory the night was quiet, the moon gently illuminating the red maple leaves on the ground and clinging to the branches. Shippo sniffled, walking along. His hands trembled, and he wiped the blood from his mouth, spitting out metallic-stained saliva and grimacing with disgust.

"I hate it here," he said to no one in particular. And then, softer, after a long silence: "…I wanna go home."

The quiet, empty forest around him didn't answer.

Somehow, without really having a conscious aim or direction, his feet carried him to the shrine in the middle of the garden pond. He paused outside, looking up at the vermillion posts.

_"He's basically human already!"_

Maybe, he thought miserably, maybe Inari didn't want him anymore. He wasn't welcome with other kitsune; why should their goddess want him, either? He turned to go back, and then stopped, looking back over his shoulder.

_But…I have nowhere else to go…_

Hesitantly, sentiments of unworthiness swirling around his mind and settling like lead in his gut, the bruised young man crossed over the bridge to the shrine. He set his sword down outside, entered, bowed, and, having no offering of food, merely lit the sticks of incense. Feeling as if it were all a useless endeavor, he clapped twice and bowed again. Then he stood dumbly, looking up at the gentle face of the goddess.

Tears welled up in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks as a sob escaped him, and he crumpled to his knees, weeping. The whole weight of life crushed onto him. He thought about his mother, who had died just so that he could live. He thought about his father, the horrific injustice he'd suffered for such a trivial thing as an ugly man's vanity. He thought about all the hundreds of people, human and demon alike, that Naraku had killed, and he thought about old Hideki, the twisted madman who'd taken away so much from him. Most of all, he thought about himself, about what he could have done, _would_ have done, if it hadn't been for that fundamental sense of right and wrong. It shook him to his core. What was the point, he wept aloud to the goddess, what was the point of trying to be good in a world of so much evil?

"But I did it," he sniffled, scrubbing at his eyes. "I did it, Inari-sama. I didn't give in. I just… just let them _go_ … I was so pathetic… but I did it…"

_"I know, Shippo."_

He started and looked up. The shrine was still empty. He wondered if he'd imagined it.

 _"You've been good, so very, very good."_ His mouth fell open; he knew now that he definitely hadn't imagined it, evinced by the fact that the statue had begun to glow a faint but discernible blue– a combination of foxfire and holy aura which could only belong to one entity.

"I-Inari-sama…?"

 _"My brave young man, you've done so well,"_ the voice came again, gentle, motherly. _"You have asked a question to which there is no easy answer, but there is a true one, and it is this: there is much evil in this world, as you know too well, but there is also much good. And the good will win out over evil, I promise you that. There will always be justice in the end…"_

Shippo gaped, stunned. His mind was spinning; surely, he, of all people—weak and mortal and pathetic—surely, he could not have merited the attention of a goddess…

_"To prove this to you, I will reward you for your good heart. Shippo, you have achieved a great virtue: self-control…"_

The boy's heart began to thunder. Every fox knew of the nine kitsune virtues, each relating to one of the Nine Tails: the first was simply the virtue of their nature, each kitsune thus being born with his first tail; the second, courage; the third, self-control; the fourth, cleverness; the fifth, honesty; the sixth, loyalty; the seventh, wisdom; the eighth, compassion; and the ninth, supreme piety to the goddess. Although he hid it from his classmates to avoid invoking further scorn, Shippo had the distinction of having achieved his second tail at a remarkably young age: the Tail of Courage, which he had been granted shortly after Naraku's defeat.

Though he'd experienced it before, it was no less strange and wonderful when the goddess's blue aura reached out and enveloped him like a mighty wind, calling his own aura to the surface. But something was different this time: the bright rushing feeling was electrifying, expanding his lungs like cold air and fizzing in his veins; foxfire flamed around him on all sides, and for a moment, the physical and the spiritual shifted into focus together as he lost his corporeal form, blue light flaring around and _through_ him as his essence became a great cerulean fox, three tails flaring and flashing like tongues of fire and then–

And then suddenly the divine energy was drawn out of his lungs, leaving him weak and dizzy where he knelt, clutching at his racing heart with a gasp.

 _"You have done very well, my kit,"_ the gentle and powerful voice rang out through his soul. _"Continue to follow in my ways, and in time, I vow, you will become what you desire: a Nine-Tailed Fox."_

The crackling sense of divine energy faded, and Shippo found himself suddenly and startlingly alone in the shrine, or so it seemed. The sounds of the night flooded back in, the solidity of the floor and the chill of the breeze…and the feeling of something small and round in his palm. Startled, he opened his hand and was surprised to realize he was still holding the locket. It dawned on him that he hadn't yet opened it.

Gently, he pried apart the two sides of the carved wood, and breathed in deeply as a strong aroma rushed out: Rin's scent. Inside one half of the locket was a tied lock of her hair; in the other, a tiny future-painting, what Kagome called a "photograph," of all his friends.

Smiling to himself, the teenager closed the locket and looked up into the face of the goddess. "I'll try, Inari-sama, I promise," he vowed. "No matter how hard it is, I'll fight to learn how to be the greatest kitsune ever!"

He stood, bowed, and left the shrine, taking up his sword as he left. The light over the red maple trees was beginning to pale. He realized, cheerfully, that all his bruises and scrapes were gone, which was sure to be a surprise to the others; in fact, he felt so rejuvenated, he decided that he may as well go train until sunrise. Looking down at the locket in his palm, he turned his hand over and back again. Even as he watched, his aura turned to foxfire, flickering along his fingers and then suppressing itself again, and he smiled. Something told him he wouldn't need to worry about the likes of Ritsuto-san or the others anymore; besides, even if they hated him, Shippo knew now he could withstand their scorn.

 _After all—_ his nimble fingers easily tied a knot in the broken string— _people are counting on me. I'll become a great kitsune…no matter how hard it is, I'll do it._ He looped the string over his head and lifted his head to the coming dawn. Far away, he knew, Rin would be waking up to the same sunrise.

_I'll do it for the ones I love._

* * *

**A/N: Please tell me what you thought!**

**As a note: if you're being bullied at school, PLEASE inform someone trustworthy like a principal or teacher, or preferably your parents if your parents are responsible people. You do NOT deserve to be treated like that, and you are not being a weak by demanding the proper authorities do their job and make sure you can actually learn at school. Just like Kagome and Inuyasha, your parents and teachers likely really do want to help.** **(Provided, of course, your principal isn't a cowardly fox-demon.)**

**Please leave a review, and I hope you liked it! Thanks!**


	4. I Want to Change the World

**Disclaimer: I neither own the intellectual property of the InuYasha universe, nor the rights to any of the affiliated merchandise or creative works thereof, nor do I profit from this work produced here.**

**Warnings: fantasy racism, violence.**

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

The people in the house were not familiar to Shippou, which was why he stopped abruptly as soon as he got through the curtain door, his call to his mother dying on his lips. Kagome smiled up at him brightly.

"Shippou! Be polite, say hello to our guests."

"Uh….hi?" The kitsune, appearing in most respects like an ordinary teenager, peered down at the two humans kneeling next to the hearth in front of his surrogate mother. The man was broad-shouldered and had a thick, flat nose and kind eyes, and was covered in scars that ran from his neck down his arms to his hands. The woman, who appeared to be about the man's age, smiled at him but didn't speak; the swell of her belly under her apron indicated a pregnancy already pretty far along. "Um, nice to meet you." Under his mother's nagging eyes, he kneeled down and bowed politely. "I'm Kagome-sama's kid—I mean, kind of, I'm adopted—anyway, my name's Shippou–"

The woman giggled a little and covered her mouth. Shippou blinked and then looked to the man, who was now smiling as well. "Hel-lo lit-tle fox," he said. "I know who you are. Do you re-cog-nize me?"

There was something strange about the way he talked—as if he were used to having to speak through a gag and had to pronounce every word very carefully. Shippou tilted his head, something tickling the back of his mind—and then his eyes shot wide.

"Jinenji?" The man smiled just a hint and nodded. "But you never let anyone see your human form!"

"I am try-ing to be brav-er. Be-sides, you may as well see it now, in-stead of lat-er."

"Later? What d'you mean?"

"Jinenji and Naoko are going to be moving to the village in a few weeks," Kagome explained.

"Really? Why?"

Naoko and Jinenji shared a brief look. "With moth-er gone," the man replied, in his ponderous way, "we have no rea-son to stay there."

"And this will be a good place to raise the baby," Naoko agreed lightly, setting a protective hand over her belly.

Shippou looked between the two of them, confused. He couldn't imagine moving all that way without a good reason. "...Did something happen at your village?" he worked out shrewdly, but before he could get an answer Kagome said sharply:

"Shippo!"

"What?"

"That's not polite to ask," she said firmly. "Why they chose to move is their business."

"But I-" Quailing under the look the priestess gave him, he ducked his head and muttered, "Yes, ma."

"By the way, Kagome-sama," Naoko interjected, perhaps trying to ease the tension, "we have a message for you."

"For me? From who?"

"We met a man on the road this morning who was coming this way; when he heard we were coming to this village he gave us this note to pass on to you. I'm afraid I can't read it," Naoko said apologetically, taking out a folded square of paper from her traveling kerchief and handing it to Kagome. "He said they've been having trouble with a salamander demon…"

"I see…"

As they began to talk, Shippou spoke up: "Ma?"

"Mm?"

"May I be excused? I wanna get back to practicing." He'd originally come in with intentions of asking when lunch would be ready, but sensed that this would not be polite in front of the guests.

"You boys and your swords," Kagome sighed. "Alright, go on. Send Inuyasha and the others in if you see them."

Shippou hastily bowed and made his goodbyes, before hurrying out of the house. It wasn't long until he was back in the forest. He alighted down and came to rest on a large boulder overlooking the river. The water flowed slow and wide there, lazily rounding the bend and vanishing from view under the boughs of the green trees. It was a peaceful place, one of his favorites: a good fishing spot—and a good place to train.

He closed his eyes and rested the back of his hand against the hilt of his sword. The wrappings felt rough under his skin. The wind rustled in the trees overhead, and for a moment, all was still.

His eyes snapped open as he drew the blade; the faint _clink_ as he brought it down into position was synchronous with the bright bloom of cerulean foxfire that flared along the blade. The tip glimmered briefly in the sunlight before the sword left its starting position and entered the second in the routine with a sharp _"uff!"_ from the boy. That alone was enough to mark him still as a student; a proper swordsman's technique was marked with intentionality—fluid at times, decisive at others—and the breathing likewise controlled, never over-exaggerated.

Still, there was no denying the young trainee's talent, or his progress. Shippou was feeling pretty pleased with himself; the movements were coming more fluidly now, less forced and awkward, with real power behind them. His aura pulsed, a blue semi-spiritual radiance briefly bending time and space, and driven on by his success he let out an exuberant _"Ha!"_ as he finished the training routine, the blade held out at something of an awkward angle.

_Twang-Tss!_

The brilliant violet-white light of a sacred arrow shot past him at such speed that he reacted without thinking, shouting out and jumping back onto a tree branch. The Kaensaiga let out a little _pff!_ of smoke as the flames vanished. He heard delighted laughter from below and peered down through the leaves, before the logic caught up to him and he blushed.

"I'm sorry!" Rin called up through the leaves, her sunny face tilted upwards and dark eyes glittering with laughter. "But you just looked so serious!"

"You scared the life out of me!" He jumped down and resheathed the blade, crossing his arms with a scowl. His face was still beet-red. "And I was _practicing."_

"Oh come on, Shippou-chan–"

"Shippou- _kun,"_ he muttered. Her face softened.

"I'm sorry. Please don't be angry with me." She took his hand and enunciated intentionally: "Shippou- _kun."_

He blushed darker and glanced up at her through his eyelashes, and then smiled despite himself. It was hard to stay angry at her. Their relationship had yet to be what any reasonable adult would call a courtship—a few stolen kisses in the forest or behind the ox-shed were the full extent of their flirtations thus far—but to Shippou, it was true love incarnate, and in his defense many a happy marriage has begun with less. "It's okay. We should get your arrow though."

"So who were those people Kagome-sama was talking to?" Rin called as they began their search through the undergrowth for the missing arrow. "I haven't seen them in the village before."

"That's Jinenji; I didn't recognize him either. Apparently that's what he looks like on his human day."

"Wow. I would never have guessed…"

"Apparently he's moving here with his wife. She's a human, though, or I think so anyway. He's a great herbalist, so Kagome will be glad to have him around." A glint of sunlight-off-metal caught his eye, and he bent down. "Here; I found it."

"Thanks." Rin accepted the arrow back and smiled at him nervously. Shippou's whole face felt tingly with heat. At least she was as nervous about this as he was. "How's your training coming along?"

He stuck out his chest. "You saw."

"I saw you swinging a sword around, if that's what you mean." Shippou stuck his tongue out at her, and Rin flicked her bushy dark hair over her shoulder. "It's not exactly archery."

"Oh, is that it!" With a _pop!_ a second Rin appeared in front of the first: "I'm Rin and I'm so cool, I shoot arrows from the back of the battle!"

"Oh, _gross!"_ She shoved him away and he transformed back with a laugh. "You know I hate it when you do that!"

"Yeah, and that's why I do it!"

She rolled her eyes and was about to respond when Shippou suddenly lifted his head, tilting it and looking skywards towards the village. "What is it?"

He sniffed. "Kagome's making food. Lots of it, too." His eyes lit up. "Training's gonna have to wait!"

"I think I'm going to have to compete with lunchtime for your love…"

Shippou glanced over at her, surprised. Apparently Rin hadn't noticed she'd said anything strange, for she was engaged with putting the arrow away in her quiver, but he held the word in his chest like a little blue flame. _Love._ They'd never used that word before. He considered teasing her about it, and then decided against it. He'd keep this one to himself.

* * *

Shippou had been right; by the time they got back to the village even Rin could smell the delicious food cooking. To her surprise, she saw lady Sango and the monk had gathered as well, speaking to the new half-demon and his wife. Lady Sango had even donned her armor under her clothes. "Are they going demon-hunting?"

"I guess so. Jinenji's wife said that they'd brought a message from a village on the way about a salamander demon…"

They wandered over to get their helpings, but as they approached a voice barked out from behind them: "Oy, Shippou! Just who I was looking for."

The boy turned, surprised. "What's up, Inuyasha?" He could see that the half-demon was carrying his sword, and all of a sudden he scowled. "Hey, if this is about feeding the chickens again while you're gone, get someone else! Last time I almost lost an eye; haven't you ever heard about foxes and hen houses?!"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes as he approached. "No, it ain't, and I'll thank you not to take that tone with me kid." His face brightened as he grinned. "Nah, I think you're gonna like this one." Shippou tilted his head. "You been practicing lately?"

"Sure. Just got back from it now."

"He's doing really well," Rin offered, earning a surprised but pleased look from the boy.

"Good, because I want you prepared. Get some food; we're leaving in an hour."

"We?" Shippou's face lit up. "I'm going with? You mean it?"

"Sure are. About damn time, too. I wanted to take you earlier, but your ma wouldn't allow it."

"I'm going? You're serious!"

"Yeah now get your food and get packed; your ma wants to head out right away."

"Got it." He waited until Inuyasha had wandered away and then turned back to the trainee priestess. "I can't believe it! He's really letting me go!"

Rin was smiling. "I'm happy for you, Shippou." And then she kissed his cheek. "Just make sure you come home in one piece, alright?"

"A-Alright…" He watched in awe as she went to get her lunch, touching his cheek with a grin. Oh yeah, today was _definitely_ looking up.

Inside the house, Kagome looked up as Inuyasha entered. "Heya. Smells good." He kissed her cheek and went to ladle himself some stew.

"Ah-ah! It's not done cooking yet!"

"Aw c'mon, Kagome, it's basically done!"

"Back off, Mister!" She waved the spoon threateningly, and he held up his hands.

"A'right, a'right. Jeez, what's got you in a mood…"

There was a pause, and then she sighed. "I still don't think we should leave so soon."

"Why, so the salamander demon can gobble up a couple more farmers?"

"We'd only have to wait a few more days! I don't want to go so close to your human night…"

"Ach, Kagome, it'll be fine! We'll be there and back before the new moon, there's nothing to worry about!" Inuyasha dismissed, peering around the dangerous spoon and sniffing the air. "Besides, even if we get stuck fighting the thing while I'm human it's no big deal; there's five of us and one of him, we'll be fine."

"But–"

"You guys fight demons while human every _day_ and I don't go around trying to wrap you in cotton wool, do I?"

"Alright, alright," she sighed. "But if you get hurt I want it on the record that I thought this was a bad idea!"

"It's on the record," he replied, waving his left hand vaguely while his right darted in and grabbed a piece of the meat. "Ow! Hot!"

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

"What did I tell you? I knew this was going to happen, I just _knew_ it…"

"It's gonna be fine, Kagome. Sango, tell 'er."

"I'm on Kagome's side on this one, Inuyasha. We should have waited at least a few days."

"Miroku, help me out."

"The schemes of men, like the river, are ever-changing in their tide. It is better not to rely too heavily on our predetermined plans."

"I think I liked it better when you were a lecher."

Despite the bickering, it was clear that the group was having a grand time. The weather, after two days of terrible storms which threatened mudslides down the mountain paths, had become sunny and clear, and a cool wind ruffled the grasses. They had crossed the mountain down into a sun-lit valley, and rice paddies could be seen glistening in the near distance. Shippou, for his part, was enjoying the walk more than anyone. His first-ever mission with the others! He puffed his chest out again, walking tall and chin-up, and Kagome and Sango shared knowing smiles.

They arrived at the edge of the village just as the sun was beginning to melt the morning dew off the flowers; the surrounding farms had grown larger and more prosperous as they'd drawn nearer, and now standing at the edge of the well-built houses it was clear to see that this village was wealthier than most. "It's almost a small town," Sango observed, looking around curiously.

"Then we shall earn a nice profit," Miroku appreciated, and then added half-piously: "The gods have clearly smiled on our work."

The others had just enough time to appreciate Sango's observation before a crowd began to gather. "That must be them," Shippou heard someone whisper. "The demon-slayers."

"They don't all _look_ like demon-slayers…"

"Look at those ears. And that one has a _tail."_

 _Huh. I forgot how curious humans could be about us,_ Shippou recalled, though the gathering crowd seemed more bewildered than he remembered most humans being. It was probably because things had gotten a lot more peaceful lately in the region; demons of all stripes, good and bad, were becoming less common as the human villages had begun to work together and spread their territories outwards. Kagome had informed them that these trends would eventually lead to a few big wars and then a new era of unity, but that was far enough in the future that even Shippou probably wouldn't live to see it.

"That must be the headman." He was broken from his musings by Sango's voice. Miroku, the group's de facto leader, stepped forward as the crowd parted and a ferret-faced looking man in better clothing strode forward.

"Good afternoon, sir. We have received your message of distress and have come to assist y–"

"What is the meaning of this?" the man cut across him, with a startling amount of irritation. "Did you come all this way just to mock our sufferings?!"

"I beg your pardon, sir–?"

"You have some nerve!" The crowd was beginning to whisper in agitation. "We have lost many good men to the demon! Our women and children are terrified; our harvest for the year is already half-ruined!"

"We understand your plight," Miroku tried to soothe, though Shippou could see he was still confused. "Our goal is to–"

"We have seen our share of charlatan monks, but this insult is a step too far! We hired you to kill a demon, and here you've brought demons into the very heart of our town!"

Miroku's mouth opened into a little _"oh"_ of realization, but before he could speak, Kagome had leaped forward, all flame and fury. _"We_ have some nerve?! How dare you! Inuyasha came all this way to help you, so you had better show him some respect!"

"It's fine, Kagome." Inuyasha looked annoyed but not surprised. "If he doesn't want our help, then we'll turn around and go home."

"No! Please, priestess, don't leave us!" One of the women from the crowd had moved forward and fallen to her knees, pleading with the priestess in the scarlet hakama. "Forgive us this insult–"

"You fool, don't you know anything?" the headman snapped at the unruly villager. "We don't need a priestess who consorts with demons!"

"Sir, with respect, Inuyasha is a talented slayer," Miroku interjected, trying to deescalate the situation. "You need have no fear of him; he protects humans and demons alike–"

"I don't care who he says he protects," the headman hissed. "He can clear out right now, both of them can."

 _Both of them?_ By the time Shippou had processed this, Miroku was already speaking. "Sir, really, the boy isn't even of age; he poses no harm to you."

"He looks nearly full-grown to me," the headman sneered. "And besides–" He leaned down, eyeing Shippou with a vicious distaste. "Whelps become mutts, eggs hatch into snakes, and _boys_ like this become monsters!" He turned to the villagers and declared: "Monsters who could kill us all without a shred of guilt!"

"That's not true!" Shippou retorted, finally finding his voice. "I'm not a monster; I'd never hurt a human who didn't deserve it!"

"Ha! Do you take us for fools, demon? Just wait until he gets hungry," the headman said to the crowd, "he'll devour you and your children in the blink of an eye!"

Shippou heard rather than saw Kagome gasp; his vision had narrowed down to a pinpoint of light, and he felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. _D-Devour?_ He couldn't do that…he wasn't like that, surely these people could see it? He looked around and found that the other villagers were eyeing him warily, mothers pulling their children close to their aprons. "But– I-I couldn't," he stammered, pleading more with them than with his accuser. "I wouldn't– I'm not–"

The headman scoffed. And suddenly, for the first time in his life Shippou could _feel_ the difference: he became suddenly, intensely aware of the burning in his pointed ears, the lashing of his bushy tail, the gentle prick of his claws against the palms of his hands and the dirt beneath his pawed feet. His protests faded off into a stammer as he realized it was no use; he was a demon, and he was no longer cute and innocent-looking enough to justify it.

He hadn't even realized there was anything _to_ justify, until now.

Shippou started as he felt a strong hand settle on his shoulder, and looked up to find the sun blocked by silver hair and red suikan. "Look, we're not looking for any trouble," Inuyasha said firmly. "These slayers know their work; let me and the kid go on our way. We won't make any problems."

"Hn. And I suppose I'm supposed to take your word for it?" The headman's tone was one of someone who had bitten into an unripe citrus as he squinted up at the man. "I can see you're part-human, but you're part-demon, too, even if you are weaker than a full-blooded youkai."

Somehow, this insult managed to drag Shippou back out of his daze. "Don't talk about Inuyasha like that!" he snapped, balling his fists. "He's stronger than anyone, human or demon!"

 _"Shippou."_ The hanyou's tone was so sharp that the kitsune immediately backed down, startled and confused. He figured it out a moment later when he saw the increased suspicion the headman was now paying the half-demon. "Look, the kid's upset," Inuyasha said, in a much calmer, more cautious tone than Shippou knew he usually used. "Just let us leave and we won't bother you again. Nobody needs to get hurt. These people can handle your problem; you won't even have to see us."

The headman appeared to debate this, and then scoffed and turned. "Very well. The humans can remain; the youkai must clear out immediately."

Inuyasha gave a short nod and turned on his heels, his hand still guiding Shippou as he led the boy away from the village. Shippou, still almost dazed, watched as the villagers drew away from him as he passed. His eyes caught those of a young girl, and she gasped and hid behind her mother's skirts.

Once they were out of earshot of the village, Shippou shrugged the hand on his shoulder off, growing angry again as he regained his bearings. "Why'd you let him get away with that, huh?!" he demanded, crossing his arms as he looked up at the half-demon. "You could've beaten that idiot to a pulp!"

"Yeah, and proven him right," Inuyasha replied shortly.

"But–"

"Shippou, listen to me," the hanyou said, stopping and turning to face the boy. Shippou stopped, startled, as the half-demon set a hand on his shoulder. "If I went around teaching a lesson to every idiot who didn't like the looks of me, well, there'd be no end to it. You've got to learn how to pick your battles."

"Big talk, coming from you," Shippou retorted coolly.

"Look, pounding that guy into the ground isn't going to change the world and it's sure as hell not gonna convince anyone any different; probably the opposite."

"But he deserves it! It's not fair!"

"Yeah, well, life ain't fair," the hanyou said bluntly. The kitsune glared up at him, fuming, and he sighed, turning back down the road. "C'mon, kid. Let's go– before the mob catches up."

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

The wind was tinged with the scent of smoke and the chirrup of crickets now as the sun set over the fields. On the hillside on the opposite end of the valley, two small dots of scarlet and turquoise could just barely be seen from the edge of the village.

The fire flared blue for a moment and then turned scarlet as it caught the kindling, and Shippou pulled his hand back, watching it. The knot that had built up in his chest that morning had not unwound itself over the course of the day; if anything, it had just gotten tighter. He'd been replaying the scene in his mind over and over again, some details melting away while others grew sharp and clear: the crooked tooth in the headman's sneer; the anxious lashing twitch in his tail. The words _whelp, egg._ _"The boy isn't even of age."_ As if that made a difference. As if that made a snake not a snake.

"Here we go." Inuyasha set the speared rabbit's meat into the forked sticks they'd set up as a makeshift spit. "You sure you don't want to catch another one?"

"Not hungry."

A beat of silence. Inuyasha watched the kitsune with concern; Shippou had been alternating towards sullen silence and bursts of indignation and confusion throughout the whole course of the day, and the hanyou wasn't sure how to handle it. He'd thought Shippou had been aware of this—had been prepared for what it meant to be _different._ He'd seen bigotry at the Academy, after all, for "consorting with humans," as a certain headman might put it. Surely he'd known this was coming?

Apparently not, he realized ruefully, or if he had, he hadn't expected it to be so damn humiliating. He remembered how it had stung, to be made to feel that small for the first time. Sure, he'd been younger than Shippou, but still… _I didn't even realize how much we were sheltering him._

"C'mon, Shippou, say something," he said gruffly, but it was a plea, whether the boy realized it or not.

Shippou poked the coals with a stick. "The world should be different," he declared.

The hanyou snorted. "Yeah, well, it ain't."

"We should do something. We should– I don't know, fight back! Change things!"

"What'll that do? It's the way the world is, kid. Humans look down on demons, demons look down on humans. Some humans look down on other humans, too, and vice versa. It's always been that way." His voice trailed off, growing quiet and melancholy for a moment before returning stronger again: "It's no use shouting about it."

"Yeah, well," Shippou muttered, "somebody should." If he were telling the truth, it _bothered_ him, the fact that Inuyasha had just taken this all lying down. He'd always considered the half-demon to be unbendingly strong, unyieldingly brash and bold. Once upon a time he could have imagined the man who more or less served as his surrogate father starting an all-out brawl for a far less serious insult. Now the warrior beside him looked…

Old. Like an old, broken man. Someone who had made his peace with the world because the world hadn't given him any choice.

And that pissed Shippou the _hell_ off.

It pissed him off more and more as the food cooked in silence, until he was bursting with a sense of righteous fury that made him glare at the cooking rabbit like the remains of a mortal enemy. He'd just opened his mouth to say something when the half-demon's ears twitched, and Inuyasha looked westwards. The sun had sunk below the distant mountains, and a cold wind blew up from the valley through the grass and their hair. Shippou felt the faint _pulse-pulse_ in his aura as Inuyasha's reacted to the movements of the heavens, and then the half-demon's hair faded to black. His furry dog-ears seemed to droop, and then kept drooping as they slipped down his head, thickened, and rounded into human ears. Inuyasha scrunched his nose and tapped his ear with the palm of his hand as if trying to suction water out of it. "Gah, I hate that feeling."

"Is it weird?"

"Really weird. I always feel like I'm deaf for a moment." He picked up his roasted rabbit, sniffed it, and looked disappointed before popping the morsel of meat into his mouth. Shippou did the same.

"What's it like, being a human?" he asked idly, realizing with mild surprise that he'd never asked the half-demon this before. Inuyasha shrugged.

"Mostly like being a demon, 'cept you're not as strong, and your senses are weaker." He thought. "It's harder to get mad and easier to feel sorry for people."

"Yeah?"

"Yup. I guess it helps keep 'em alive. Kagome explained it to me once; said it was useful since humans have to work together more often than demons do and live shorter lives." He turned red suddenly and looked away. Shippou smirked despite himself.

"What?"

"Shaddup."

"Wha-at?"

The half-demon chucked his skewer at him and looked away with a scowl; Shippou caught it with a grin and examined it. "You miss Kagome," he guessed. "Like you said, humans only live so long…"

Inuyasha turned in a whirl of dark hair and glared at him ferociously. "Oy! I'm not discussing this with you!"

"Good. I wasn't interested." When he was finished eating, he lay back on the hill and looked up at the stars. "...I miss them too," he said pensively. "It's weird, not being with them."

"Listen, kid…nothing's changed, you know that. Right? Between you and them." Shippou shrugged, not wanting to talk about the matter. "Hell, it's not like this is gonna happen every time. I don't usually get kicked out on missions…"

"Yeah, but you're only a half-demon."

"So?"

"So, maybe _you_ don't want to eat their kits as much," Shippou said bitterly, watching the stars twinkle coldly in the distant sky.

"Kid…"

"I'll take the first watch. I know you get more tired on your human nights."

"No," the half-demon said firmly. "You get your sleep. I'll wake you if I see anything."

"I can do it…"

"Don't be an idiot." The half-demon's voice softened. "I look out for you, kid. It's what I do. Get some rest, a'right? We'll have work to do in the morning; headman or no headman the villagers are gonna be wanting our help when the demon shows up."

"Yeah? Which demon?"

A human hand descended out of the sky and ruffled his auburn hair. "Stop sassin' me and get some sleep. Go on."

Shippou rolled over on his side without another word, but lay awake for a long time. If Inuyasha realized he was still awake, he didn't say anything, and Shippou was grateful for it. He didn't think he would be able to get any rest at all, what with the tumult of thoughts in his head, but in the end exhaustion of a decidedly non-physical sort overtook him, and he drifted off into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

He was on his feet before he even knew what was wrong.

The noise was his first indication. He knew the voice making the grunts and the heavy breathing on instinct, and for a split second he had the amusing thought that maybe Kagome _had_ ventured out to find her husband before a decidedly non-erotic noise split his ears: a bellow of wrenching pain.

 _Now_ he was fully awake. He gaped at the scene in front of him; Inuyasha was struggling to breathe, his ribs slowly giving way to the crushing muscle in the utterly massive salamander demon's tail. The demon, twisted around on his side, snickered at him.

 _"Hn-hn! So you thought you could outwit me, did you, little human? You should have had your fox friend keeping guard, or I wouldn't have snuck up on you so easily!"_ Inuyasha cried out again as the tail wrapped around his torso tightened. _"I'd like to see you burst like a barrel."_

Shippou drew his sword in a blind panic, and, noticing the sudden blaze of blue flame, the salamander demon's head whipped around. _"Hn? What is this?"_

"L-Let–" Why couldn't he make his mouth work right? He'd never been too scared to mouth off to bigger demons as a kid! "L-Let– him–"

_"What a fine little specimen of fox you are! You'll make a delicious meal after I finish with this appetizer!"_

He tried to remember his training exercises, but his mind had gone blank. "Let Inuyasha go! I'm warning you!"

_"Oh? Is the little fox threatening me! Look, I am shaking in my scales, ha-ha!"_

"I mean it! You have no idea what I'm capable of!" _Come on, you're a kitsune! Bluff like your life depends on it!_ "So you'd better give him back right now, or I'll– I'll make you regret it!"

 _"Hn-hn-hn!_ _So much rage inside you for this one pathetic mortal! It would be a great delight to me to see your face as I tear your friend apart."_ The salamander curled his tail tighter still, and Inuyasha let out a pained gasp as another rib broke, looking ready to pass out.

"Inuyasha!"

The hanyou opened dazed indigo eyes. "Shippo… _run…"_

 _"Tell me, kitsune, if I eat him what will you do?"_ The salamander laughed, and Shippou flinched as the blast of demonic aura made him hunch over, demanding his submission. _"Cry? Beg for his life? How delicious. Well now, fox demon? Tell me, how will you grieve?"_

Shippo's head was still bowed, his fists shaking around the hilt of the sword. For a moment there was silence, and then a very low voice came from the kitsune's direction:

_"I won't let that happen."_

The auburn head looked up, and even Inuyasha's pained eyes widened. Shippo's aura pulsed and then flamed blue around him, and out of the darkness, his eyes began to glow a hot-coal red.

"I don't care if Inuyasha's grouchy or rude or if he hits me on the head," the kitsune growled. "He's always protected me, and fed me, and took care of me even when I didn't deserve it! He's a great man and a great demon too!" The kitsune took a step forward, blue fire flaring up around the blade. "So I'm warning you, let him go _right now_ or you'll be sorry, because– _because–_!"

"Eh?" the salamander hissed. "What's this?"

_"Because he's the closest thing to a father I've got!"_

With that screamed declaration, Shippou charged forward, all blazing foxfire and red eyes, and then– well,Inuyasha didn't really know how it happened, but before he could really comprehend what he was seeing Shippou had vanished, and in front of him stood a great red fox.

It might have been a beautiful sight, if it hadn't been so terrifying: the fox was nearly twice as big as Kirara, with three lashing tails, claws like knives and wisps of blue foxfire flaring along its auburn fur. The only reassuring thing about the fox was the eyes: jade-green and highly familiar. And furious. Absolutely furious.

It was around this point that the half-demon realized that the fox was still barreling forward at record pace; even though it was only half the size of the salamander, the kitsune had enough momentum to completely knock it over when it pounced, sending Inuyasha sprawling sideways onto the grass. It was from this lucky position that he saw the true power of the fox.

Lucky, because apparently fox-form kitsune—or at least a fox-form Shippo—breathed blue fire.

_Fire-breathing fox: 1. Amphibious demon: 0._

Inuyasha gaped as the fox turned and sauntered away from the smoking remains of what had once been a salamander and over to him. The fox blinked down at him with great jade eyes and snuffled him. Inuyasha stared up at it uncertainly. "Sh-Shippo?" he questioned.

The fox looked back, and then tilted his head to the side as if to get a better look. Or at least, that was what Inuyasha thought until the tilt kept going, and the kitsune toppled over, passing out on top of the injured human. Thankfully, Shippou transformed back right before he landed, falling lightly onto Inuyasha's stomach and making him grunt, but otherwise not causing any lasting damage.

Gritting his teeth against the pain of his injuries, the dark-haired man sat up, looking down at the boy. Shippou was unconscious. Inuyasha wasn't surprised, considering the amount of youkai energy the kitsune had just spent up. Still, he couldn't help but be impressed– and a little intimidated, which was a strange feeling when directed at the redheaded runt who used to sit on his shoulder. _As I am right now, I probably wouldn't stand much more of a chance against Shippou than that salamander,_ he mused.

It wasn't long before Shippou's eyes opened again, blinking and looking around in a dazed manner. "W-what happened?" He sat up, looking down at Inuyasha. "Inuyasha! You're okay!" He looked around for the salamander demon, which was shrinking in size; apparently some magic had been afoot. "Did I get him?"

"You got him alright," Inuyasha said with a chuckle, and then winced badly. "Agh. Damn that's not good."

"Will you heal when the sun rises?"

"Keh! I'll be fine, kid, don't worry." He looked over at the roasted corpse of the salamander demon, and then made a decision. "Come on." He stood up.

Shippou looked alarmed. "Inuyasha, you're still hurt!"

"I can deal with a little pain; this is worth doing now. We're going back to the village."

"What? But–"

"No buts. Pick up that salamander. We need to teach somebody a lesson."

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

_POUND-POUND-POUND._

The headman and his wife, who had been about to engage in some rather personal activities, both froze. "What in the world–"

_POUND-POUND-POUND._

" _Open this damn door right this damn second! I mean it, old man!"_

"It's that half-breed from this morning!" the headman hissed, quickly retying his robe. His wife covered her mouth, and he stood up. "Stay behind me."

"D-do you think they're dangerous?"

"Demons are always dangerous. But don't fret, my love, there are ten guards in this house–"

" _And tell your guards to put down their swords because I am REALLY not in the mood!"_

The headman froze, and then grabbed his own sword off the half-shelf and yanked open the door. He was met with a furious indigo-black, and decidedly human, glare; momentarily thrown off-guard, he lost his opportunity to react and the redheaded demon boy from that morning was able to peer over his shoulder.

"Uh, Inuyasha, I think they were–"

"Huh? Oh." The black-haired man noticed the woman on the futon. "Sorry for interrupting, ma'am, but this can't wait." He switched his glare back to the headman and growled, "You. Out here. Now."

Shaking slightly, the headman obeyed.

"Weapons on the ground."

The headman hesitated, and then gave a nod to the gathered guards. The spears were set down on the veranda, and the black-haired man stepped back and jerked his head at the boy behind him. "Go on, kid."

_THUD._

Shippou heaved what remained of the salamander off his shoulders and threw it down on the veranda floor. The weight of it rattled the floorboards and the shoji in their frames, and tiny spots of ash and black, half-congealed blood flecked the paper screens. The boy looked down at it for a moment, and then his gaze shot upwards towards the headman, emerald eyes like sharpened pins. The man jumped like a frightened cat and scrambled backwards, watching Shippou nervously. His eyes flicked briefly again to Inuyasha, and his mouth fell open as he finally took in the full transformation.

"B-But aren't you– weren't you–" The dark-haired man crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows, and the headman's voice quavered away.

"Y'know most demons aren't evil," Shippou said flatly, redrawing his attention. "And I don't eat people, _thanks."_ He turned and walked back down the veranda. "Anyway, I'm not really old enough to work as a slayer, not properly, so you can pay Inuyasha instead."

"Wh-who's–"

"My dad." He shared a nervous glance with Inuyasha, and the half-demon's mouth flickered just slightly—just enough to tell Shippou he didn't mind. Then he turned back to the headman.

"You heard the kid. Pay up."

Outside, Shippou shut the door behind him and looked up at the sky. The two guards on either side of the door watched him nervously, but didn't dare move. Shippou ignored them, closed his eyes, and followed his nose.

He was in front of the others' room within three bounds, on the opposite side of the headman's house. The light was dark, but even on the other side of the paper he could hear their soft breathing. He raised his hand to open the sliding door, and then faltered.

Inuyasha had said they would still treat him just like they always had. Shippou wanted to believe that, he really did. But when you got right down to it, he was different from them, and he knew it. He was even different from Inuyasha; he was the only demon in a group of demon-hunters. What did that mean, now that he was really part of the group? For him, for them? What if they saw him as just "one of the good ones?" What if they _stopped_ seeing him that way?

_What if one day they look over and wonder if I want to devour them, too?_

"What are you waiting for, kid?"

He looked over his shoulder. Inuyasha was tossing a small pouch of coins up into the air and catching it; it jangled satisfyingly, and Shippou turned back to the door. "Just for you."

"Let's tell 'em the good news."

The group, of course, was a mixture of reactions, from sleepy to worried to proud, once the story had been told ("Shippo! Inuyasha!" "Inuyasha, what happened? You're all bruised up!"), and Shippou received praise upon praise for his victory. "You should have seen him!" Inuyasha crowed proudly, retelling the tale for the third time. "I thought I was a goner, but Shippou took him out without so much as blinking!"

"Three tails, you said?" Sango asked. "That's very impressive, Shippou, especially for a kitsune your age."

"You must have been very brave," Kagome agreed, beaming at him. The boy ducked his head.

"Thanks, Ma…"

Outside the open sliding door, a small group of people approached the room nervously, standing at a distance. The headman, at the front of the small group, stared at the scene before him. The welcome was warm, anxious, delighted, confused. The priestess was fretting over the demons, while the slayer-woman and her monk husband were asking eager questions. _By the gods, you'd think they loved them…_

"Shippou, shut the door, will you? The chill is getting in…"

The demon moved to close the door, and the headman stepped back. The demon stopped, staring at him. Then his face turned stony.

"Like I said, I don't eat people." The others fell quiet and turned to watch. The demon stuck his chin out, and suddenly, strangely, the headman was reminded of his own teenage son. "But that salamander demon sure did. You threw Inuyasha and me out into the cold with someone like that running around. We almost died." The man had the decency to look away. "But we demons are the heartless ones, right?"

"Master swordsman–" the headman began, but the boy shut the door in his face.

Inside the room there was a beat of silence wherein everyone watched Shippou, and Shippou watched the frame of the door. Then he turned with a rueful smile.

"So you guys got any dinner left over? I'm starving!"

* * *

**犬夜叉**

* * *

The party reached their home village a few days later, on a bright sunny afternoon where the grass was green and springy underfoot and the spring planting was well underway down in the rice paddies. Moving along the watery blocks, Shippou could see a larger figure, as tall as a house, and turned to Inuyasha.

"You never told me what happened."

"Huh?"

"With Jinenji. Why did he have to leave? I thought the people in his village liked him."

Inuyasha shared a look with Kagome, and then said, "Hang back a moment, kid. You guys go on."

"We'll let you tell Kaede the story yourself," Kagome said fondly, ruffling the boy's red hair.

"And Rin too," Miroku said, winking at him. Shippou flushed red.

The other slayers moved on ahead, leaving the two behind. Shippou waited expectantly until they had left, watching Inuyasha. At last, the half demon let out a sigh through his nose.

"It wasn't the other villagers," he said bluntly. "A new lord recently got hold of the territory, and he didn't like the idea of a half-demon marrying a human woman."

"Oh…"

"I'm sorry, kid. Your ma and I shouldn't have been hiding that stuff from you. I guess we just didn't realize how much you'd grown up." He looked back out over the village. "But apparently the rest of the world has."

The boy looked down at his feet in the grass, curling his pawed toes. Down in the village, he knew, there was a young trainee priestess who thought they were "cute," who liked to pinch his pointed ears, who liked to laugh at his magic. So many love stories between humans and demons ended in tragedy, but they had brushed them off in favor of the happier examples around them. Now he wondered whether they'd just been being naïve.

"I've been thinking 'bout what you said."

Shippou looked up. The half-demon was still watching the village pensively. People were walking and talking and working among the green paths and sunken blue paddies, and the sound of laughter drifted up to them.

"Yeah? What do you mean?"

"That maybe I've had enough of being treated like an outsider."

Shippou nodded. The older man studied the scene below him.

"This is how we change the world, Shippou," he said, almost thoughtfully. "Here, in places like this. Good places." He paused. "But when we're not here, I think it might be time to start shouting again. Ya know. Make people a little uncomfortable."

"I was surprised you didn't," the fox-demon said honestly, and the half-demon turned with a smirk, one fang pointed out.

"So was I. But I'll tell ya this, kid: when you shout, shout loud, and don't waste that chance. Don't let them wind you up or distract you or give them an excuse to ignore you. No, you gotta make 'em listen. You gotta make sure they _hear._ And that's exactly what you did in that headman's house." He cackled. "Ah, they're gonna have to throw out every one of those doors for the stink!" Shippou snickered. "Point is: I realized, I'm not just lookin' out for myself anymore, y'know? I gotta look out for you kids." He ruffled the kitsune's hair, and Shippou batted him off.

"Hey! I'm not a kid!"

"The next generation," Inuyasha mused. "Yeah. You're worth shouting for. You're worth changing the world for."

Shippou tilted his head, a bit confused, and the half-demon grinned. "C'mon. Let's go find your ma; I think she said she's gonna have lunch ready soon."

They walked down the hill, boy and man, down to the village, while the bright brisk wind blew over the hills. Down to the place where the world _had_ changed—even if only just a little.

* * *

_Fin_


End file.
